It was unknown untill it gradually presented it's self as a
pre-conceived notion of happiness and a source of solace that one can
throw themselves into oh so willingly knowing the full consequences of
forcing a fallacy to become some abstract perspective of what one can
only hope to be a reality. Selfish acts such as what one has done can
only be lived with on the lesson that one learns which is even though
everything even remotely relevant to a significant other can not be
forced or falsely believed to go how one may want it no matter if it
always didn't go as planned in the past one has to let it be. By
despertately clinging on to the positive words said by another one can
be put into a state of false reassurance that gets obliterated
repetitiously by the biased thoughts that are always contemplated by
one daily. It's not an obsession it's the ultimate wish of ones life
that was percieved to be actually in ones grasp. It's the unfathomable
feeling that one would want to be able to share. The ever fluctuating
emotions that are always felt is something that can throw one into
multiple yet diverse states of depression excitement anxiety
hopefulness that are harmful to ones resolve at times. Never has it
been within ones comprehension how someone elses words could be
irrelevant but someone that is special to someone can send one into a
downwards spiral of psychological bewilderment by just informing one of
something that has even the smallest hint of the complete opposite of
what one would want. One's resolve struggles to stand strong but one
is only human and can only withstand the tempting malicious charm of
giving in and.....just putting one's heart where it belongs....which
means alone to one's self. One strives to analyze situations from
diverse perspectives in order to do nothing but understand it all.
One....one would want everything to just be okay just for once.
Impossible it will always be for one to have ad ay of contemplation
that doesn't include the single thought of....of you. One read
"surrender was never an option when it came to you" and one procured a
perspective that from this day on there will never be just one anymore
no matter what the future brings one will keep you in ones heart and
when one looks back and notices one meant everything one said...one
disappears.....now it's just me....just me standing here standing true
to everything I have ever said...Just me remembering how it feels to
actually believe for an instant that you meant what you said to me.
Just me sitting here everynight that I don't talk to you making excuses
to myself as to why I shouldn't cry and just give up. Just me at this
very moment writing this full of tears as silent gags of regret escape
my throat in front of these people I've come to call my friends. Just
me realizing as I am writing this...nothing will ever change. Just me
having even stronger feelings for you despite the conversations I've
painfully yet silently endured about mutual association and "just
friends". Just me wanting you to know that I love you and I will
always try to be there for you one way or the other friends, more than
friends, even if we begin to drift apart and become nothing I respect
everything you said and will understand your decisions in the
future...I just want to say I'm sorry and I've never felt the need to
be so apologetic in my life but it's just me now helping you
worrying you
annoying you
understanding you
respecting you
loving you
wanting you
missing you...
infinitely waiting for you....
Just me fully putting 110% in this all for you...
Just me...dedicating everything I have left to you....
Tags:
blog,
inspiration,
rhetorical,
love,
psychology,
poem
Published by
Ace_Skates_LVS: 11:49 PM
Views: 278
