Is the worst yet to come?
I honestly cannot think of many things that scare me, I guess after some thought one thing that might come to mind would be needles. I'm not scared of them, I do however greatly dislike them.
Right now though, there is something that scares me much more than I would ever expect it to.. What might that be? The future.. The future, my future, scares me and leaves me feeling unconfident and worried. Everything seems planned out since day one up until now. School ends, studies start.. Then what?! Where do you go? What do you do? How do you decide? Will my studies aid me? Have i studied enough to make it? What ifs and so many other questions on my mind.
I wish life was easier and simpler. I wish it was easier to back yourself in life, to support yourself. Now it seems it gets even more complicated later on, when marriage is in order. The more time passes the more difficult it becomes for someone to live life. What will make someone happy? Is it health, is it money, is it love, is it religion? What is it?! Some people might be happy with the simplest lifestyle there is, living out on some island surfing all day, strumming a few chords on a guitar at night and living off some fruits and smoking weed in between. Someone else is satisfied with fame and fortune, wearing designer clothes and driving fast cars.
I don't know where i fit in, the only thing I do know right now is that I want to dedicate my life to music. I want to leave something behind. Most people die and fade away and it goes un-noticed. I don't want o fade away like that. I would rather spend a lifetime and leave behind a piece that will never be forgotten in the form of music, of a composition. If I manage that, I will die a happy man, it's worth more than any riches and worth more than an ease of life with no difficulty. But that seems to be the hardest thing to do, leave a piece of yourself behind.
It's seems that this in between part is what scares me, the studies and brief period after that, is it just me?
-Lex
