i'll hide you in my walls
your body will never be found
i'll wear your skin as a suit
your friends will like you more than they used to.
2 new pics. nothing special. quite lame. just thought you should know.
tell me how beautiful she is,
and how you never fight.
she's such a good girl.
but you've still got an itch.
you can't reach it
and you never knew how.
the more you say,
the deeper you dig yourself into a hole.
and the longer you keep quiet,
the more you feel lifeless inside.
but it's just like this,
like pouring salt into your cuts.
it burns and you can't scream.
she will comfort you tonight.
her smile will light up your world
even though you had intentions
that would shatter her heart.
save everyone the inconvenience
and stop lying to yourself.
she’ll find out one day
you never were the type to mind.
infidelity generates words like these
and shattered hearts
will make sure you get
what you deserve.
splendor won’t salvage you now.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
in love with the idea of being in love. i want to move away. there's nothing here for me and that's been proven. i know where i'd go. i know where there's someone waiting for me. until then i'm stuck. stuck with the idea.
Monday, February 21, 2005
[it's cool, we can still be friends: bright eyes]
Yeah, you still kiss me sometimes, but it's just on the cheek
You pull away so easily
And I still call you, but I get your machine
And if I'm lucky I guess, I get your roommate answering
But you're at the bar, or at Gene's
And we go to dinner, but you won't hold my hand
We sit at the same table, but we don't play with our feet
Yeah, we still go to dinner sometimes, but we don't sneak a kiss
When the waitress turns around
And we still watch movies, but we don't share the couch
And we still rent movies, but we don't share the couch
Yeah, we still watch movies sometimes, but you don't lay in my lap
The plot is slow, take a nap
And you even stay over, but now we stay in our clothes
Yeah, you even sleep over sometimes, but we stay in our clothes
I'm only there so that you're not alone
And you say that I hurt you, in a voice like a prayer
Yeah, you say that I've hurt you, and your voice is like a prayer
Yeah, well maybe I hurt you sometimes, but let's contrast and compare
Lift up your shirt, the wound isn't there
I guess that your truth, is just the ghost of your lies
Yeah, your kind of truth, darling, is just the ghost of your lies
I see through them all the time
So I'm pouring some whiskey, I'm gonna get drunk
Yeah, I'm pouring myself some whiskey, I'm going to get really f*cking drunk
I'm pouring some whiskey right now, I'm going to get so, so drunk
That I pass out, forget your face, by the time I wake up.
Monday, February 07, 2005
this trial and error sh*t is a bit overrated
and that my friend is the story of my life
you f*ck me over, ill let life have its way with you
there are people on this earth that i wish would actually learn a lesson
but those are the people which KARMA beats the sh*t out of
and that's where i wish you well and send you on your way
Saturday, February 05, 2005
i wish i could feel what it's like to be someone's "everything" again. to be something meaningful. to be loved and cared for unconditionally. to have the truth be told even if it'd rip me in two, at least i'd know he cared enough to tell me how it was. i wonder how it's possible to go from being everything to being nothing...as if none of it had ever happened...leaving me to wish it never truly did. then i wouldn't be left here to think about it all. wishing i could have just a second of it back.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
i'll be the lamest person you know
stand back and watch me go
i hold onto the past like no one's business
and i find out it's just endless
tomorrow i'll wonder why i even cared
thinking about all him and i shared
it was never worth it to sit around cry
i wasted too much time wondering why
you could try to teach me a lesson or two
but you know that's not how i do
i'd rather tell myself it'll be alright
and try to forget about him tonight
ashes to ashes we all fall down
i promise i won't make a sound
GO WITH THE FLOW: queens of the stoneage
________________________________________
She said "i'll throw myself away,
They're just photos after all"
I can't make you hang around.
I can't wash you off my skin.
Outside the frame, is what we're leaving out
You won't remember anyway
I can go with the flow
I would say it doesn't matter
matter anymore
I can go with the flow
Do you believe it in your head?
It's so safe to play along
Little soldiers in a row
Falling in and out of love
Something sweet to throw away.
I want something good to die for
To make it beautiful to live.
I want a new mistake, lose is more than hesitate.
Do you believe it in your head?
I can go with the flow
I would say it doesn't matter
matter anymore
I can go with the flow
Do you believe it in your head?
Saturday, January 29, 2005
_GHOST MAN ON THIRD: taking back sunday_
Jynx me something crazy
Thinking if it's three
then I'm as smooth as the skin
rolls across the small of your back
It's too bad it's not my style
If you need me
I'm out and on the parkway,
patient and waiting for headlights,
dressed in a fashion that's fitting to the
inconsistencys of my moods
It's times like these where silence means everything
And no one is to know about this
It's a campaign of distraction
and revisionist history, oh
It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice
No one is to know about this
It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice
Don't let me down
But whatever I have gettin myself into
maybe has been slicing inches from my waist
It's my fist vs. the bottle
and thank god you weren't there...
And that's how bad could this hurt
or against I won't feel a thing
I tell you all about it
It's just not working out
...to watch me hit bottom
not working out
It's a campaign of distraction
and revisionist history, oh
It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice
No one is to know about this
It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice
Don't let me down
This is why we were taught so much better than this
This is what living like this does
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
_____GONE AWAY: cold_____
Do you pray
In the night
Can you appreciate the wind
And I won't care
I won't fight
I need you close to sing
It's the same beginning
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
It's my whole life
In words
And I can't breathe
When you cry
But I'll be there to hold you tight
And I would kill
I would fight
To keep you close
I keep singing the same way
I won't live
If you died
If I can feel you in the wind
And this is me
It's my life
I'll need you close to sing
It's the same beginning
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
It's my whole life
In words
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
It's my whole life
And I can't say
And I don't know
How far
I'll go
And I can't say
And I don't know
How far
I'll go
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
It's my whole life
In words
Gone away
It's the same old, same old song
Gone away
It's my whole life
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking - snow patrol
___________________
I've got this feeling that there's something that I missed
I could do most anything to you...
Don't you breathe
Something happened, that I never understood
You can't leave
Every second, dripping off my fingertips
Wage your war
Another soldier, says he's not afraid to die
Well I am scared
In slow motion, the blast is beautiful
Doors slam shut
A clock is ticking, but it's hidden far away
Safe and sound
so i'm goin thru profiles today just like i do every other day and i sometimes read things people write on other people's pictures. sometimes it's funny as hell and sometimes it just pisses me off....like all these lil girls that say:
"hehehe you're hot!" or "omg you're so sexy!" or how bout "you're hot! HMB sometime. kisses! i luv u!"
UGH makes me wana CHOKE A BITCH.
Saturday, January 22, 2005
____ I'M CONTENT WITH LOSING: underoath____
Like I said
Leave your baggage at the back door
I'm leaving you the way I think it should be
We're always pulling into places that we can't back out of
Starting fights we can't talk our way out of them
How does it feel to be on the recieving end of this one?
I'm half way there and it's all on me
This is what I get for wanting more, for wanting more
This is the way its got to be
Dancing on all these changes
So I walk around with this rope in my hand
So I'll tie it around and around, and around
I'll tie me down
I'll fantasize of being manic
And leaving us behind
In your eyes you were the one that tried
Acceptance is what holds us here
And you my dear are the one I fear tonight
We'll try just one more time
This is the moment that we all live for
Are you ready? Are you ready?
I'm half way there and it's all on me
This is what I get for wanting more, for wanting more
This is the way its got to be
Dancing on all these changes
So I walk around with this rope in my hand
So I'll tie it around and around and around
I'll tie me down
You cant see past my waving hands
just running away again
You think so loud it hurts my ears...
I want to know how to get through this
Without choking up
I can't feel you
You're so far from me
This is what i get for wanting more
And its all on me
Thursday, January 20, 2005
_____RUN: snow patrol_____
I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done
And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do
Light up...
Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads
Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
RANDOM SAYINGS (really...honestly...random as hell):
*HaMsTeR! you chewed up all the pieces of wood i gave you, ate all the sunflower seeds i set out, and crapped all over the nice soft litter i put in your cage. this is why we CANT HAVE ANYTHING NICE!
*this is your captain speaking. i'd like to remind you to leave your seatbelts on during the entire flight, on account of me being roasted.
*have you ever noticed? how all of your sentences? sound like questions?
www.toothpastefordinner.com
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
No more holding it in
How many years can I pretend
Nothing never goes the way it should
No more sitting in this place
Hoping you might see it my way
Cause I don't think you ever understood
That what I'm looking for are the answers
To why these questions never go away
I'm so far away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
I'm so far away
Now I'm blaming you for everything
No more waiting for the end
Of every day that I will spend
Wishing that I only had a choice
No more pushing you away
Cause I will be busy watching things going my way
Never looking back on this anymore
Because what I'm looking for are the answers
To why these questions never go away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
Now I'm blaming you for everything
Hey hey watch me wave
Goodbye to yesterday
Nothing left in my way
Hey hey I've been saved
With sun shining on my pain
Getting me through this day
Hey hey watch me wave
Goodbye to yesterday
Nothing left in my way
Feels so good to say
Now I'm blaming you
I'm so far away
Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
i come up with some clever ass sh*t like this for instance - it was originally a comment to mr. boucher but i was so entertained by my make up little fantasy thoughts i figured id share it with the rest of the village.
"if ur irish it's in the rule book that u must like cabbage otherwise the irish will ban u from their ethnic clan and send u to zimbabwe where u will be forced to talk in clicking sounds and wear nothing more than a piece of towel for clothing. i thought u knew."
yeah uh, im not a huge fan of kelly clarkson nor have i ever been one cuz she can be damn annoying but that one song "since u been gone" whatever the f*ck is good for like telling an ex everything u probably couldn't think of to say. but oddly enuf, i've found that since seth's been gone, i can breathe...and im not stressed. im happy. yesssssss.
------------------------------
Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah
Since you've been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone
How can I put it? you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
this journal is nothing more than i place that i lay everythin i got to complain about on the line n let you crazy kids read it. i've been doin a lot of thinking and a lot of writing and suprise...even more thinking lately...ive decided im in a good place in life. yeah. who woulda fukin thunk? last semester i did great with my classes and i got awesome grades and raised the GPA a whole fukin 2 points (which is a lot to me, mind you, i can be a huge retard). a lot of it is cuz i dont have seth in my life anymore. i realized how much stress that a-hole caused and it's so great to not have that added sh*t. i work my ass off at a sh*tty paying job, i pay rent for an even sh*ttier house but i buy my own clothes, my own food, my everything, hell i even pay bills n put gas in my car. i have a bf who cares about me (OMG) haha and a few, yes, only a few REAL friends which doesn't bother me cuz i know who's real and who wasn't. i find myself in debt a lot and there's a way out of it always. money doesn't buy happiness, although sometimes we'd fukin think it did. you know what...it's gona be o---------k.
don't you dislike it to the 10th power when not a goddamn thing seems to go right. it's just a streak of badness and it never seems to go away. it's kinda like a black cloud that hovers over you and only you, follows you around, and sh*ts on you whenever it feels necessary. well i don't like black clouds and let's be honest, who's a huge fan of sh*t? it'd be so much cooler if something other than money made the world go round cuz then i wouldn't wake up every morning wondering how much $$ i'm in the hole for the day and then wouldn't spend the rest of the day feeling like i'm about to yak all over the place cuz i'm stressed out like a hurricane was about to come and rip this place apart. without money, you can't buy food, put gas in your car to get to the place where you go make your money, can't enjoy yourself, and heaven forbid you should need a new pack of socks cuz you're f*cked, unless a pair of socks cost 39cents cuz that's about all your sorry ass has. it's so f*cking gay, homo erotic yes, that i gota spend my time bitchin about this sh*t cuz i have nothing else better to do, besides light my sh*t-for-brains roommate on fire.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
If this is how I feel
Then nothing now is true
And nothing now can ever be taken away from you
Sinking in the past
The things that shouldn't last
Just put to bed and stand beside me
Stand beside me
Always on your side
I'm on your side
And so alive it isn't real
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
i hate it when:
-my bank account has a minus sign in front of the numbers
-stupid boys do really stupid ass things
-i get drunk and call people and make a fool of myself
-it doesn't snow
-my belt doesn't match my shoes
-my supposed "best bud" aka the ex can't even call me back to say merry xmas after i leave him a voicemail
-the dodge stratus slides on the icy road
-there's no food in my house
-nothing f*cking goes right
-stupid fat girls come over to my house when my roommate throws a party and ask me if they can smoke weed in my bedroom
-i can't let go of stupid sh*t from the past and move the f*ck on
-someone asks you to marry them and takes it back
-grapes get soggy and deformed after they've been in the fridge for too long
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
THANK YOU, NAPOLEON DYNAMITE:
KIP- "Your sandy hair floats in the air... To me it's like a lullaby... I'm just flying by... Oh so high... like a kite..."
KIP- "Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever... We met in a chatroom, now our love can fully bloom... Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make my salivate... I love technology, but not as much as you, you see... But I STILL love technology... Always and forever. Our love is like a flock of doves, flying up to heaven above... always and forever, always and forever... Why do you need me? Why do you love me? Always and forever..."
Napoleon Dynamite: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: What?
Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.
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