About Me
I hate explaining myself on these things.Honestly, I'm really a very boring person... but ...
Last year I successfully negotiated the release of hostages from a group of Scottish terrorists who had seized a small Ethiopian bakery high in the Swiss Alps using a bottle of Scotch, a small sheep named Karen and a delicious Haggis I had whipped up that morning.
I have had tea with Betty Ford, gotten drunk with the Pope, and had sex on the Virgin Islands. I have gone on a wreck dive to the Titanic using only one flipper, a very large rock, and 12.521 feet of garden hose.
I can cook 20 minute brownies in 10 minutes. The law of Physics do not apply to me. I do not sweat. The animal rights activists send me fan mail because of my ability to create lifelike fur using S.O.S. pads, and brown food coloring.
I have been known to entertain people at parties with my vast knowledge of tribal life and the medicinal properties of the Amazon Bassin.
That about sums me up... did I meantion I snowboard?
