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Searching for blood in the salty sea
The sun beating down on the chest in back of me
Looking for drugs in a southern town
Hey, hey, hey, hey
I’ve got this red right hand that points me south
The puke green clouds just spat me out into the hot, hot lands.
I landed with no shoes.

I hear
"Hey, hey, hey, hey come pollinate me"
"Hey, hey, hey, hey come pollinate me, hey"

Across the room, across the room, I hope to watch you writhe again soon.
Across the room, across the room, I hope to watch you writhe again soon.

Alright we're gonna do it again for ya now. Okay YEAH....OH YEAH....YEAH!

They've got the army of ears; they can’t hear you now
I got the piss in my veins in these furrowed brows
You've got this one last change to burn me, turn me down
If not I’ve got these last 12 bucks to spend on you
You can take me anywhere your sick mind wants to
Use yourself to fuel me using you

I hear
"Hey, hey, hey, hey come pollinate me"
"Hey, hey, hey, hey come pollinate me, hey"

Across the room, across the room, I hope to watch you writhe again soon.
Across the room, across the room, I hope to watch you writhe again soon.

I hear
"Hey, hey, hey, hey come pollinate me"
"Hey, hey, hey, hey come pollinate me, hey"

Across the room, across the room, I hope to watch you writhe again soon.
Across the room, across the room, I hope to watch you writhe again soon.
I hope to watch you writhe again soon.

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that was obviously sarcasm. but yeah. you see the board pic.. well it still looks like that. mint. f*ckin mint. and the bloody snow wont go away and let me get more then one or two semi dry enough days to skate. i need to leave ontario! agh! but there are my frustrations for everyone on the net to share in. i hate winter. >.<


PS STUPID WINTER... you rusted my trucks you basterd


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I'm Screaming on the inside
bleeding, suffocating,
dying
I'm Smiling on the outside
laughing, breathing,
thriving
Again I want to escape
It's already been another year
My heart aches
Boiling my blood
Turning it into tears
I want to vomit, puke it all out.
All the pain and the hurt
All the disatisfaction and the discomfort
All the torture and all the confusion
I just want a real smile on my face
With none of this to bring me down
And more than that I want to be free

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Walking in my nighty; rubbing my eyes
My fathers sitting on the sofa with his friend
He pats the seat in the middle; i sit
Shivering so cold; a quilt he lends

"Jessy you love me dont you" a smile; his
Their breathe spirts weep
"Daddy you know i do; what is it?"
He smiles at his friend; his hand creeps

His friend takes my hand; looks me in the eyes
Daddys creeping up my nightie; cold hands
I try to pull his hand away; grip is strong!
They look at one another; nod; something planned

I feel my palms sweat; Daddys under my knickers
"Daddy im going to bed! Night" Pulling again
But there grip is to strong for weak me
I look at both; and ask, who are these men?

His fingers going up me; pulling away
His friend leans forward; a kiss? Why?
His toungue moving mine; my eyes squint
Lean back and away; "Why are you doing this?"
No answer, i feel the pain inside me; him
Chucks the quilt on the floor; me to
I try and scamper away, but im not fast
"O Daddy please, i love you"

His friend; pulling at my nightie
And my Dad pulling my pants down
His friend pinning my hands to the floor
As my Dad lies himself on the ground

I squirm; as Daddy friend pulls me up
And places me ontop of Daddy; thrusts within
I cry; i bite; i scratch; i slap; i fail
"O Daddy please you win you win!"

I can feel my skin rip; my virginity breaking free
I can feel the blood seep down my leg
"Daddy your hurting me please"
I plead to him and his friend; not even a beg

Daddys laughing; why does he laugh?
His friend shoves himself in my mouth and moans
Tieing my hands togather; moving in and out
"Ride me Jessy" He laughs and groans

They smile at one another; laugh to
They roll me over and spread me wide wel
My daddy sits on my face; himself in again
While his friend talks and pushes himself inside

I can hardly breathe; i gag for air
I cough and splutter; cry and weep
I beg and plead; but its no use
Theyve already made me hurt and bleed

I stare into his eyes; that look upon me
This is not my Dad; where is he?
If he was still here; would he care
Would he actually even; see?

Finally they get of and lie me on the sofa
My cheeks blouchy from tears and pain
They play with them selfs; all over me
Rub it in; making me feel the shame

"Why Daddy? Please tell me why?"
Dad looks at his friend; and waves him away
"Jessy i love you" he smiles and kisses my cheek
"Is that all you have in your heart to say?"

He puts my nightie on me
I walks me to my bedroom door
Ever since that night; His friend
And himself every Friday come back for more

"Night sweet Girl; You are my life"
Closing the door, tears still down my face
Still the smell of him and his friend
Fade into me like disgrace


I watch the Moon go down; the sun come up
"Jessy its school" Knocking at my door
I cant help but cry; weep in pain
Because im so scared he wanted more

But one night daddy took it too far
Daddy and his friend came back for one last shot
They were worried they would get caught
So he and his friend took me to a cemetary lot

I was blindfolded and my hands were tied back
"Daddy please!! Not tonight!"
Daddy and his friend both had their last fun
After that i tried to put up a fight

I begged daddy "Please no more!"
All he could say "Shut up you stupid whore!"
Daddy unblindfolded me at last
He said I love you so much

He went back into the car and pulled out a bat
"Daddy I swear I wont say a thing!!!!"
I was dead
After only one swing..........................

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    Sad Murmur

The sound of wings
Flutter in silent sadness
As the resonance imbalances
The plane of reality
A soft good-bye
As the dream fades away
But the flutter
And the mutter
Remains
Tears fall like feathers
Freezing time
Nothing can replace the empty heart
That love of mine

A man was standing in the middle of the desert. There was no sign of life around him, only what once was living, his victims. Before him lay the sheath of a sword; in his hand the sword.

“Calm yourself,” it whispered in his ear, “ you need to focus.”

“ I can’t, it’s much too hard for me.”

“ No! You must…Success is imperative; you don’t want to go back to that place do you?”

“ No you can’t; please don’t…” whimpered the man.

He tried to struggle against himself, straining, unsuccessful.

“Ha ha ha I already told you, your silly attempts are futile; I control you, I am you, I am the blood that courses through your veins, you are at my will”.

“No,” cried the man “ I am not a monster like you!!”

 He fell to the ground and laid the sword before him, through tears he whispers,

“I am not like you…I can’t be like you…I can’t…” he repeats it again and again in a steady murmur. He lurches forward as he feels a sharp pain in his head.

“ See, I did that; you can’t escape me, why would you try, it was you who created me after all; I am the black side of your soul, you put me in this position, I need to be fed” he giggled.

He stood up, grave, worn, his eyes told the tale of a weary man.

“I know what I must do then.”

He picks up the sword and with his finally breath he uttered these words,

“ If this is inevitable, if all that’s left of me is this, then I must leave this all behind; and you shall come with me.”

“Wait! No! What are you doi-“

The man took the sword and thrust it into his stomach; all that was left was the sheath and a somewhat duller sword.

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Not much longer

 

my breathing is getting low

my heart is hadly beating now.

im in this nightmare that has no

ending.

im stuck and theres no way of me

getting out of it.

my wrists are bleeding from the tip

of a kinfe blade i slowly drag it across

my wrists so i can feel it i see the blood

coming out

i keep thinking why am i still alive i should

be dead by now

im screaming and crying on the inside but

nobody can ever tell because they will

never be able to understand

im not sure if i can be alive for so much longer now

i cry as i wipe the tears away with my handi notice that

i am crying tears of blood i start getting scared

so i just took the razor that i had...and cut alot

more all over my body to try a make it to where my

eyes would not bleed anymore

i look up at my pillow its all red its all full of my blood

i start crying again and i slowly fall asleep

i wake up my bed is all bloody and not all of my blood

that was on the bed has not yet soaked up yet...

i try cleaning it up but yet again i wasnt good

at cleaning things up...

am i good at anything?

am i pretty?

no im not because i have cuts everywhere

its because i feel like im all dead inside

and everytime i feel the blade slice my skin and i see

the blood comeing out.

i notice then that in fact i am not dead.....yet......

and i am surprised becuase i feel all dead inside so

i would of guessed that i am dead but im not

im not trying to be fake i dont do it because other

people do it...and im not doing it for the attention

heres another reason why i do it...it is becuase everytime

i cut it takes my mind off of the mentally emotions that i hae and

it makes me think more about the pain that i am doing at the

moment.......

how come everybody judges me?

how come people hide stuff?

u tell me the reason

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If at first you don't succeed then break down and start bitching.

I'm not gonna say anything inspirational; I'm just gonna f*cking swear a lot."
-Billie Joe Armstrong

No reason to live, but we like it that way"
-Bloodhound gang-

lifes a bitch.. then you die.. =)

You Don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear"
-johnthegreat

You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same

"People learn from their mistakes."

"and the rivers of egypt with flow with milk and honey."

Some dance to remeber - some dance to forget. - Eagles

"It is better to fail in originality then to succed in immatation." "Appearances can be deciving." "Someone who said that sunny days were best, never danced in the rain." "Never let a fool kiss you, never let a kiss fool you."

The sky is the limit if you let it be.
-V
Can you see my heart in this world you have forgotton?
-Ve
Cut the veins around my wrist, take my heart and never part.
-Ve
I spill my blood willingly

To you I might be just a common fool, but to someone, I'm more than meets the eye...
-Rai Sasaki(Dragon's Destiny)

There is no kai in team

You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because your all the same"

I can't reach the sky without being dragged down...
I can't run forever while I try to hold on...
But if you'll be there where I drown, I don't want to hold your hand...
It's quicker than quicksand and you just won't make it...
-[Quicksand] by Lillix

What happened in the past will stay,but what happens now will go on for life.

"Is your brain broken or something? don't drink and drive!!!"

True wisdom exists in knowing that you know nothing

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
What's another word for ‘synonym’?
Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?

Things I like and things I hate: I don't really feel like telling you that..."
-Kakashi Hatake

You may see me not crying but in the inside, I'm crying...

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, but what does a blind man see?" ????

Everyone has hope, faith,and trust within them. So we all should never just lose any of these traits. Protect them and cherish them, as if they are one of your precious belongings. -AFG316

happy endings are for stories that havent ended yet

Dear God...." "u ass"
"No Trev we will not go bungy jumping without a rope"

Don't you feel it?
The colder your touch
The more it turns me on
And the faster beats my heart
And baby more I love you..."
- "I Love You (prelude to tragedy)" by HIM

Billie Joe Armstrong: My name is George W. Bush. Actually, my name is a**hole.
Tre Cool: Orange mocha frappucino!
Bam Margera: I took H.I.M.'s tour bus!

Look up to the stars, but don't look down on the earth.

Tré Cool: I don't understand a word of what Billie just said, so I will just talk about chickens.”

The eleventh commandment: Thou shall rock hard.

darkness is only the beggning

Accept it. Love it. Have some ramen.

Just cause I'm a witch it doesn't mean I'm a bitch. But I can be if you piss me off. Touch what's mine and you'll truly pay.

"sing like you think no one's listening"
I can almost taste it with my nose. -Falcone aka Dico in Haggard

Some books can be devored easily,while others must be taken in piece by piece and digseted slowly.

were I go I just don't know might as well go somewhere in Mexico I eat fairies

When there's a village angry mob, theres only one thing to do....run like the wind and don't look back!!!"

Don't fight with an idiot because they might make you stoop down to their leval and beet you with experience

Roll, Roll, Roll a joint
Twist it at the ends
Light it up and take a puff
And pass it to your friends!

Dont cry for anyone who wont cry for you...

You were born an individul, don't die a clone" or "Its my f*cking life and you know what nobody invited you...so there's the door...see ya!-Billie Joe Armstrong

Would you like me to discribe it to you, or would you like me to find you a box" -Legolas Greenleaf The Two Towers
"A red sun rises blood has been spilt this night" - Legolas Greenleaf The Two Towers

Today is a good day to die_Worf star trek
'Stop Mocking me!"Stewie Griffin Family Guy
"Got ya ha ha ha!" Jokey smurf Smurfs
Baka, Shut up"Hiei Yu-Yu Hakusho
"Quit yer crying,stupid" Inuyasha Inuyahsa

[.x.She'd Absolutly Kill To Here Him Say She's Beautiful.x.]

I never asked for promises. I never wanted anything. I just want you

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." -Maya Angelou

Be your self they can only send you to hell once"

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing

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So i was recently talking to/ getting acquainted with  this great guy, his name is Jon. Jon is such a beautiful person, funny, cool, and a sweetheart.   i really don't need or feel to go into detail on what happend & why it did; really, i don't understand it.  we aren't together anymore/well we were together at sum time and point and then i hurt him & then we talked agian .

--it's really immature how i handled  it i took  it too  far as of getting to....idk

 the feelings i had ventured with him. i miss him more than any of my words could express.

the feeling of "missing" is possibly the only feeling i know for sure im enduring.

you see;
i understand im having these moments of boredom. but i dont know what i want.

i realize i want this new breath of fresh air. but i dont know where i want to breathe.

i get that i've changed. im unsure of how. or even why.

it's like im stuck. i don't know where to go. what to do. to say. who to run to. or if i should even do any of it.

im always going on & complaining about things that occur...but theres no point in doing any of it.  what will it change?

people say rude things--& why let them turn into emotions?          --words.

i've tried to use my free time to just become who i am. become who i believe is myself.

i've done things to try and change my outward appearance, but hairdye & a tattoo don't do that.
those are simple things that add to who i am...
but now what i am, what i can do...

lonliness- its this constant battle that is dealt with so many people.
but if im here alone. and you are too. why not become together?

this post is possibly one of the most random written blogs to ever exist.

but these are my thoughts; these are my feelings.

can't understand? --me neither.

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ATOM AND HIS PACKAGE LYRICS

"Going To Georgia"

[Originally by Mountain Goats]

The most remarkable thing about coming home to you
Is the feeling of being in motion again,

It's the most extraordinary thing in the world.
I have two big hands
And a heart pumping blood
And a 1967 Colt .45
With a busted safety catch.

The world shines
As I cross the Macon county line,
Going to Georgia.

The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it's you
And that you are standing in the doorway

And you smile as you ease the gun from my hand
I am frozen with joy right where I stand.
The world glows its' slide underneath your hair.
40 miles from Atlanta, this is nowhere.

Going to Georgia, hahahaaa haaaa.

The world shines
As I cross the Macon county line,
Going to Georgia, hahahaaa haaaa.


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... i flat out feel like shi*t...
life can be so difficult at times... uhhhh!

although...

you know i love you with all my heart and i cant help but smile when i say i <3 u jon

i don't think i know who i am anymore.

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