Not much longer

 

my breathing is getting low

my heart is hadly beating now.

im in this nightmare that has no

ending.

im stuck and theres no way of me

getting out of it.

my wrists are bleeding from the tip

of a kinfe blade i slowly drag it across

my wrists so i can feel it i see the blood

coming out

i keep thinking why am i still alive i should

be dead by now

im screaming and crying on the inside but

nobody can ever tell because they will

never be able to understand

im not sure if i can be alive for so much longer now

i cry as i wipe the tears away with my handi notice that

i am crying tears of blood i start getting scared

so i just took the razor that i had...and cut alot

more all over my body to try a make it to where my

eyes would not bleed anymore

i look up at my pillow its all red its all full of my blood

i start crying again and i slowly fall asleep

i wake up my bed is all bloody and not all of my blood

that was on the bed has not yet soaked up yet...

i try cleaning it up but yet again i wasnt good

at cleaning things up...

am i good at anything?

am i pretty?

no im not because i have cuts everywhere

its because i feel like im all dead inside

and everytime i feel the blade slice my skin and i see

the blood comeing out.

i notice then that in fact i am not dead.....yet......

and i am surprised becuase i feel all dead inside so

i would of guessed that i am dead but im not

im not trying to be fake i dont do it because other

people do it...and im not doing it for the attention

heres another reason why i do it...it is becuase everytime

i cut it takes my mind off of the mentally emotions that i hae and

it makes me think more about the pain that i am doing at the

moment.......

how come everybody judges me?

how come people hide stuff?

u tell me the reason

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(yeah its another poem by me, it has relations to my life yes, but you have to read in between the lines so to speak to understand the real meaning...Some of you may take this as...it talking about you...well it does talk about people in this...and they are people among this very site.)

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i never knew how much a contry song can totally tell you a story

 

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Just in case you thought the route to sexual bliss was straightforward, here's a list of things to avoid. They're all pretty much guaranteed passion killers for a woman - and if your check list contains more than ten of these, you've got some serious work to do on your sexual etiquette!



1 Going straight for the naughty bits.

You've got to be sensitive to the fact that a woman is more likely to be irritated than aroused when a man dives for her breasts and vulva after a few minutes' perfunctory kissing. While you might get to feel the goods, you're not going to be invited back.

2 Not knowing how to kiss sensitively.

Passionate or sensitive, firm or gentle, good kissing is an art form which lubricates the wheels of sex and gets everyone in the mood for more intimacy. Learn how to kiss, and do it well. That doesn't mean sticking your tongue in her mouth and wiggling it around like you're trying to floss her teeth.

3 Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones .

Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it comes to your dicks. So if you touch her clitoris with as much force as you apply to your cock when you masturbate, she's most likely to howl with pain - and then kick you out of bed. Remember: the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis, in a much smaller area. Treat it with respect. It's the only organ in the human body that has no function other than to provide pleasure.

4 Not stroking and caressing her.

A woman's second biggest sex organ is her skin. (The first is her mind.) You can make your touch on any part of her body into a sexy caress, but you have to focus on what you're doing and put some sexual energy into your fingers while you caress her. That means not thinking about the baseball game while you're giving her a sensuous massage.

5 Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child.

Yes, we know it's fun for you. To her it just feels like she's got a teething infant hanging off her tits. Lick and kiss around her whole breast before you go for the nipple, then flick your tongue gently across the nipple and around the areolae. If she likes what you're doing, you'll know by her moans of pleasure.

6 Biting on her earlobe because you think it's sexy.

She may not agree with you. In which case it will just be irritating for her, not a prelude to her turning into the sex goddess you thought you were summoning up.

7 Leaving a hickey on her neck like a teenage badge of honor.

If you're over sixteen, this is a no-no. If you need to know why, you're obviously under sixteen.

8 Not shaving before sex.

When you're in the throes of passion, having your beard stubble brushing back and forth across her face isn't so sexy, but at least it'll produce a red rash she can remember you by..

9 Not washing your pits and bits before you have sex.

If there's one thing that turns women off, it's a lover whose personal hygiene isn't up to scratch. Even though men have a higher smell threshold than women, keeping yourself clean - especially in the more intimate corners of your anatomy (like under your foreskin) - is not just a matter of courtesy, it's a ticket back to the bedroom.

10 Forgetting she has a sensuous body waiting to be stroked.

Pretty much the same point we already made up above, but worth remembering: touch doesn't just have to be in the bedroom, a prelude to sex. In fact, if you touch her a lot in a loving way during the day, she'll be ready to melt into your arms by bedtime.

11 Trying to get your fingers in her underwear before she's ready.

This is the mark of a gauche teenage lover who wants to get to fourth base just so he feels more accomplished as a lover. Take your time, let things evolve naturally, and apply a little sensuous touch on the fabric covering her vulva before you dive under the elastic. The hint of what's to come is often more erotic than diving straight in there.

12 Dropping the condom on the floor.

Must I say why this isn't the most popular move post sex? Dispose of the condom tidily in a tissue - put it in the bin rather than down the toilet, or it's likely to float there for some time to come as a reminder of your sexual encounter.

13 Going straight for the clitoris during oral sex or masturbation.

Like I said above, most women just find this irritating - and, if you press too hard, bloody uncomfortable too. Your first caresses should be on her labia, the lips of her vulva, then as she gets more aroused, you can work nearer the clitoris itself. But even when she's aroused a soft touch along the sides of her clitoris may be more acceptable for her than any pressure on the head of her clitoris.

14 Breaking off just as she's getting to the point where she wants you to keep going at all costs.

Women often get so lost in their sexual arousal that they forget to give feedback. In reality, the fact that she's lying there quietly may actually mean she loves what you're doing; if so, you should feel her pressing her vulva against your mouth or fingers, or shifting like she wants more touch, rather than giving you a sense that she'd rather be out shopping.

15 Undressing her clumsily.

Listen up guys: you don't have to be able to take her bra off with one hand, behind her back, while kissing her. In fact, in my experience, it's better if you don't try. She probably puts it on by fastening it first and pulling it over her head anyway. Let her take off the garments you don't understand, and whenever you do lend a helping hand, undress her gently and sensuously rather than pulling at her clothes like you're ripping the paper off a birthday present.

16 Undressing yourself inelegantly - which includes taking your socks off after your underwear

Nothing is more comical (or pathetic) to a woman than a man in his socks and pants. Except possibly a naked man wearing socks. If you don't understand why, just accept that it is so.

17 Expecting her to shave for you.

You might like the baby smooth look around her vulva, but she's more likely to see this as a prickly route to itchy stubble. Ask her nicely if you'd like her to go smooth. If she says "no", accept that graciously.

18 Sticking a finger up her vagina before she's ready, willing and able.

In general, women do like to be penetrated just as much as men like to penetrate, which, considering how much men like to stick things up there, is just as well. However, she'll only want you to do this when the time is right - i.e. when she's aroused enough to enjoy it. If you're giving her clitoris attention, there'll be a point where she might like to have a finger or two inside her. If so, be gentle, and start with one finger on her G-spot. Make sure she enjoys this before you put another one up there. Two fingers on her G-spot is probably as much as she will want. And be just as firm with your touch as she finds pleasurable. If you don't know what the G-spot is, then do some Google-ing before you get into bed.

19 Entering her without asking her first.

What is it with men and these dark, wet places? Just keep in mind that she decides how far sex goes, and if she doesn't want to enjoy f*cking then don't press the point. This applies especially to any strategy that involves nudging your dick into position and then pressing forward without her consent, verbal or otherwise!

20 Pecking away around her vagina with your penis if you can't find the way in.

This is, by all accounts, many women's least desired sexual moment. If for any reason you can't get in, don't pretend you're in control and keep trying. Simply ask her to guide you in with her hand. That way you'll save a lot of embarrassment, not to mention time.

20 Pumping away without regard for her pleasure.

When you've achieved your most desired objective, and your penis is inside her, you'll want to show a certain consideration for her pleasure. She may want hard and fast thrusting, but it's best to start slow and shallow. While you're making love, she'll most appreciate your efforts if you're masculine and strong - which is to say, if you act like you know what you're doing, you're considerate and gentle at first, and work up to firm and strong thrusts if she likes them.

21 Expecting her to make love bottom up.

Yes, you probably all enjoy butt sex. But she may be more self-conscious of her butt, she may feel like a sex object, and she may not like the rather impersonal nature of this position. If you really want to do it, and you explain to her why you like it so much (i.e. "It's incredibly exciting to see your gorgeous butt as we make love", rather than "I get so turned on f*cking from behind") she'll probably co-operate from time to time, even if it's only on your birthday and hers.

22 Thrusting too hard.

If you happen to be well-endowed, or she has a short vagina, and you thrust too hard, you may end up banging her cervix. This can make her shriek, though sadly not with sexual pleasure.

22 Coming before she's got excited or begun to enjoy sex.

There aren't many men who can last long enough to really satisfy a woman who enjoys vaginal intercourse and G-spot stimulation. If you can't be bothered learning how to be a long lasting lover, then at least have the decency to keep going for a few minutes so she gets some pleasure. This isn't hard, and there are plenty of ways you can learn to extend sex and not come so quickly. Do some research on Google for "end premature ejaculation".

23 Not coming at all - or losing your erection when you put the condom on.

If you're one of that rarer breed of men who has trouble coming during sex, may I respectfully suggest you see a sexual therapist? You can then deal with this problem, learn to come more quickly, and avoid giving her a numb vagina and an intimate knowledge of the exact shade of color you painted your bedroom ceiling. If you're one of the many men who lose their erection when the condom comes out of its foil wrapper and onto the head of your penis, it's back to Google for a search on, surprisingly enough, "losing erection when putting on a condom".

24 Asking her how it was for her.

This is not the mark of a confident lover, so if you really want some feedback, phrase it thus: "Did you prefer it when I did X or Y?"

25 Not going down on her when she wants oral pleasure.

Since oral sex on a woman is so pleasurable for most men, this seems unlikely. But if it's a question of the smell or taste being a bit much for you, try taking a shower or bath together before sex. If you just want her to give you a blowjob and you simply can't be bothered to reciprocate, then reading these tips isn't going to help you much anyway.

26 Failing to give her pleasure if you come quickly

Remember the motto: "Ladies first!" As a man, you're probably going to lose interest in sex once you've ejaculated - at least for a while. In which case, make sure she comes through oral sex or masturbation before you enter her. That way, she gets her pleasure and so do you. (With the added bonus that it doesn't matter so much if you shoot quite quickly.) Just to enter her, thrust a few times, come, roll over and forget about her is the mark of a boorish lover, and you wouldn't want to be one of those, now would you?

27 Trying to force her head towards your cock.

Let's face it: she's either willing to give you head or she's not. Trying to persuade her to get her lips around your glans by edging her head towards your groin is a bit crass, to say the least. If she doesn't seem to be heading that way as things hot up, just ask her: "There's something you could do that I would really like....."

28 Trying to force her head further down on you cock when she's giving you head.

Yes, once again we know it feels good, but you have to be considerate about it. She's not likely to be a deep throat expert, and there's no reason why she should be, since most of the pleasure of oral sex comes from the action of her tongue on your glans. Keep your hands away from her head unless it's to gently stroke her hair, and you won't feel the temptation to encourage her to go deeper.

29 Holding her head when she goes down on you.

Pretty similar to number 28, but this time, holding her head and moving it up and down on your penis is the no-no. If you think that's acceptable sexual etiquette you've been watching too many of the wrong kind of porn.

30 Coming in her mouth without asking her if it's OK.

The taste of cum is very much an acquired taste; but unfortunately it's one that few woman ever acquire. If she doesn't like it, ask her to keep going until the last minute, then tell her when you're going to come so she can move back and finish the job with a well-lubed hand. You'll get just as much pleasure, and she won't have to gag or spit your cum out. By the way, accidentally forgetting to tell her you're going to come is not permitted.

31 Thinking that a porno movie has anything to do with real life.

Porn is not good for men's egos. Real life isn't like that, OK?

32 Switching on a hard core porn film without asking whether that's OK with her.

Even if you find it arousing, she's not likely to, for the simple reason that much of the porn available today is fairly abusive to women. Ask her first, and if you want to share the erotic thrill of watching people have sex, get hold of some romantic sex movies that will appeal to her emotions as well as her sex drive.

33 Apologizing for the size of your penis.

Just in case you ever feel inclined to apologize for not matching up to the guys in the porn movies, just remember: 98% of women would rather have a sensitive lover than one with a big penis. If you're with one of the other two percent, you need to find a new lover.

34 Answering honestly when she asks you what your last lover was like.

Guys, when a woman asks you if her butt is too big, do you tell her the truth? Enough said. Your current lover is always the most gorgeous, sexy and desirable woman around. Even if she doesn't really believe it, that's what she wants to hear.

35 Asking her if she'd mind if her girlfriend joined you.

Threesomes can be exciting, but they usually just cause jealousy and upset when one partner unexpectedly finds they don't want their partner making out with another person. Needless to say, this usually happens to the woman. So be sure, be very sure, you know what you're doing before you try this one.

36 Making her do all the work.

Changing positions is all very well, but asking her to ride you each time you have sex seems a bit one sided. Vary the positions, have fun, and take equal shares of the work. Don't just settle for one favorite position and flog it to death.

37 Trying to slip it in the back door by "accident".

Anal sex is something that a lot fewer couples have tried than you'd believe from what you read on the internet or see in porn. It's something you might like to try, but you both have to want to do it. She's not likely to respond with warmth if you keep pretending you're poking her a**hole by accident. And she won't believe you if you tell her you just didn't want to ask for directions, even if that's how you are when you're driving around lost, looking for somewhere.

38 Photographing or videoing your lovemaking.

Unfortunately, as many jilted lovers can testify, taking pictures while you enjoy sex is putting power in the hands of the person who has the pictures. A good compromise is to link your video camera direct to your TV without recording the images. That way you can have the erotic thrill of seeing yourself during sex without having to worry about seeing yourself having sex on the internet in a few years' time.

39 Getting into the same old same old routine every time you have sex.

Above almost everything else (except possibly being deeply in love), ringing the changes when you make love is the thing that will keep your sex life fresh and passionate. You'll be surprised just how exciting it can be when you try a new position. This is simply because every position puts a different pressure on the penis and vagina, or gives you a new perspective of your partner's body, or perhaps allows you to see entering your partner's body, and so on. Exactly which sex position feels most pleasurable will depend on the shape and size of your penis and her vagina.

40 Not romancing her.

Women love romance. Men put up with it, or do it to get sex. True or false? Probably true, but the romantic "chase" is deeply rewarding for most men (i.e. seducing and winning a woman makes us feel deeply fulfilled), and romance is an essential part of that process. If you're able to continue being romantic once you're an established couple, then you set yourself head and shoulders above the rest of your fellow men, and you stand that much greater chance of getting regular, passionate sex.

41 Slapping her butt without checking if she's into a little dominance play.

No matter how exciting you may find the idea, don't land a heavy slap on her ass without trying a few lighter ones first and seeing how she reacts. If you do, you may get a slap in the face. Or a kick in the balls. Ouch!

42 Trying to do sex by the book (or the film)

Don't copy the moves you see in porn films. They lack a certain something. Consideration for the woman, that would be.

43 Playing with her anus before she's excited enough to appreciate it.

When you're masturbating her clitoris, and you have a finger inside her vagina, you may find that she responds well to a little anal play. If you have the position right, you can use your little finger to tickle gently at her anus as your forefinger plays with her G-spot. This may well add to her excitement - especially if she's on the verge of orgasm. If you try this before she's really excited and has stopped caring what's happening to her, you might just turn her off completely, so it might not be a bad idea to check it out with her in advance.

44 Deafening her by shouting in her ear when you come.

An easy mistake to make, especially if you like to have sex in the man on top position lying close to your partner, and you like to let the world know when you come. Unfortunately she won't let you do it a second time, so bury your face in the pillow or something if you're prone to uncontrollable vocal ejaculations as well as physical ones.

45 Talking dirty without checking if she likes it.

Generally a little consensual dirty talk between adults adds to the excitement. The first time your partner tells you to f*ck her hot wet c*nt you'll see what I mean. If that hasn't happened yet, and you'd like it to, encourage her to talk dirty to you when you're having sex, and see what pops out of her mouth. You might be surprised. Remember legend has it that the quiet ones are often the most surprising in bed!

46 Lying on top of her without supporting your weight on your arms.

Always remember: a gentleman takes his weight on his arms. Or elbows, or knees, or something.

47 Cuming on her without asking permission.

Coming between her boobs or on her pussy or ass can be incredibly exciting, but it's nice to ask her first. She may see it less a mark of your ejaculatory prowess or manhood than a mess to clear up.

48 Not controlling your ejaculation.

Like I said before, a good lover makes the effort to make sure his partner is satisfied before he is.

49 Not spending some time with her in your arms after sex.

A man who gets up after he's done the business and sets about his daily routine is probably top of most women's sexual dislikes. For her, this is a special time when a woman feels very close to her partner. She takes much longer to come down from sex than a man does, she wants to know she's loved and special, and she wants to feel adored by the man to whom she has just given her most precious asset. The very least you can do is to spend a few minutes cuddling her while you relax after sex, even if you're not going to spend the night with her.

50 Not cleaning up after sex.

And since sex inevitably involves a certain amount of fluids, keep the tissues handy for afterwards. If you feel like being chivalrous, offer her a warm towel to clean herself, especially if you aren't using condoms.

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PFL DVD RELEASE
& TRYOUTS COMPETITION
Fri. Jan. 12/07
The Mod Club - 722 College St.
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Cover: $12

About The PFL
The Pillow Fight League (PFL) leads the way as the most exciting and innovative new wave in sports entertainment. Featuring strong female combatants, the PFL is engaged in the unprecedented whip-action attack of pillow fighting. Not just for the slumber-party sleepover anymore, these women are serious brawlers - armed with beauty, brains and a nasty disposition. The contests are fast-paced and furious, with flying feathers and hard-hitting moves. There are various ways to win a match, with a referee always on hand to keep the hair-pulling and scratching to a minimum.

The Past
The Pillow Fight League was founded in February 2004 by PFL Commissioner Stacey P. Case, and Honorary PFL Commissioner Craig Daniels. Two live events using the original concept of the PFL were held - New Year's Eve 2004 and 2005 - with performers from Canadian burlesque troupe “Skin Tight Outta Sight” as the fighters. New Year's Eve 2005 featured the first instance of live audience tryouts. The two gals who fought tore each other apart. THIS was the true birth of the Pillow Fight League.

The Present
After months of tryouts and training, the PFL now has a full roster of female fighters. The first live PFL Event, PFL1 in May 2006, was witnessed by a sellout crowd of over 300 fight fans. The PFL has been featured in TV, radio, and print media nationally and internationally. Recent media coverage includes The Toronto Star, The Toronto Sun, The National Post, CBC National Radio, Q107 FM, Rogers Sportsnet, CITY-TV, Ed's Night Party, and Playboy Radio. PFL2 took place on Thursday June 22 at 1032 Queen St. West (Toronto). PFL3 was at The Courthouse, Toronto on Thursday, August 17th, 2006.

The Future
Make sure to read the Official PFL Blog to keep on top of all the latest developments.

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10 questions that have confused mankind

1.Q- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
2.Q- Who was the first person to say"See that chicken there...I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
3.Q-If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of conconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
4.Q-If quizzes are quzzical, what are test?
5.Q-Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
6.Q-What do you call male ballerinas?
7.Q-Does pushing the elevator buttom more than once make it arrive faster
8.Q-Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
9.Q-Qhy do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
10.Q-If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

20 Things To Do In A Drive Through Lane

 30 Ways to Mess With People in a Computer Lab

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.
10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.
14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say "Oops, I forgot."
16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"
18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).
19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.
22. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.
24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.
26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to grinding. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.
27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.
28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.

40 Things Do to At School

1. Walk into the library and ask if they carry books when they say yes say hmm I see.
2. Ask your language teacher to recite the ABCs for the class.
3. While in the lunch line ask if the Cheeseburgers have cheese on them.
4. Put underwear and your head and run through the halls screaming i am captain underpants obey me.
5. When a teacher asks you an obvious question give the wrong answer.
6. If the teacher asks if something is true or false and it's obviously true say false when she says no have your friend answer "What is False?"
7. Drop a Laptop on the ground and claim your mind powers weren't working correctly.
8. While in the lunchline claim to the person next to you that you have clean underwear on.
9. Tell the person next to you that you got so high last night that you thought you were floating.
10. Drop your pencil and when someone goes to pick it up scream "Hey that's mine"
11. If people consider you to be a nice person have an outrage with no point.
12. Proclaim you saw your least favorite teacher with your other least favorite teacher on a date.
13. Pretend to not speak english the first day you go to a new school.
14. If you having been going to your school for a while ask your teacher where the bathroom is.
15. Walk into a class that your easily passing and say my parents are so dissapointed in me for having a B+ Ms. Hull I just don't what to do and begin to fake cry.
16. In the lunch line take forever to choose your food.
17. Drive to school in the crappiest car ever and claim that it is your pimp car.
18. If your teacher asks you to get something from the office ask her if she wants fries or a drink with that.
19. Deliberately answer a science question with a math answer i.e. Which atom has a positive charge? 5!
20. If you white claim that you sound very black if you are black claim that you sound very white. 21. Tell every that you are from the future and that school is evil and must be destroyed.
22. Tell every that you are a pscho and you see the future.
23. Tell the person next to you that they smell very pretty, like garbage.
24. Ask your teacher for your own phone number so that you can call home to get your homework.
25. Ask your teacher if you can burn your books one day to show the effects of fire.
26. For all you inliners out there wear a Senate shirt to class and ask your Civics teacher for extra credit becuase you are supporting the US government.
27. When paying for your lunch if the lunch lady asks for 3 dollars give her 3 dimes.
28. When the announcements come on scream "AH the voices leave me alone leave me alone"
29. In the middle of Class stand up put your arms out straight and say "I am the waling dead must leave school" like a zombie and walk out of class.
30. Ask the teacher for her phone number.
31. Walk in late and proclaim that you are sorry but you had a very important meeting with the voices.
32. Pretend your a deaf the whole day.
33. Scream every time you speak.
34. Walk in the mornig screaming i saw it i saw it it's huge round pink and fluffy.
35. Take a random person and proclaim to the school that they are your new best friend.
36. When they take attendance say not here.
37. Proclaim that the printer or copier is your best friend.
38. Make photocopies of your butt and stick em on the walls.
39. Tell everyone that you have lice and scratch your head next to them.
40. Do all in one day.

44 Things to do at a movie theatre

1. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
2. Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
3. Starting wheezing and ask the person next to you if you can have some Juicy Fruits for you asthma.
4. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
10. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
11. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
12. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
13. Wear 3d glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effect are.
14. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
15. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
16. Run out of the theater screaming, "Oh my goodness, I forgot, Webster is on now!"
17. Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)
18. Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
19. Try to start a wave.
20. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.
21. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
22. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
23. Sing with the theme music.
24. Whenever a fat guy comes in the movie, stand up and do the truffle shuffle. Include the sound effects.
25. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
26. Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
27. Ask your neighbor if Mr. T. is in the movie, and ask often.
28. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
29. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
30. Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
31. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
32. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
33. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
34. Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
35. Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
36. Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
37. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
38. Do the running man every time a rap song is played.
39. Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.
40. Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
41. Get 3 people together and act like you are Crow, Tom Servo, and Joel from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
42. Before the movie starts, stand up, and imitate the Truth commercial saying, "The makers of this film couldn't find any way to make their characters rebellious, rockin`, or cool so instead, they'll just smoke."
43. When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"
44. Stand up in front of the projector and yell "Hey where is the movie"

 50 fun things to do at Wal-Mart

 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in housewares," 
and see what happens.
11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. 
See if they play along.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, 
"Who buys this crap anyway?!"
15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"
20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there 
say "Hmmmm....I thought
the customer was always right!"
21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you will only invite them in if they bring pillows 
from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down.
29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."
31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)
32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle from above.
34. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies."
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
Section, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.
45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with
Various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
Something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."
49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
The food courts, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out
Much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
*BONUS*
1. Attempt to do all of the above in the same visit, without
getting kicked out.
2. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much youcan make.

 50 Fun Things To Do During An Exam
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"
8. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
10. Bring pets.
11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas. "If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
15. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..)
23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly.
25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i. e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)
26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.
31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!"
32. Bring a water pistol with you.
33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.
37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.
38. Bring cheat sheets for another class (make sure this is obvious.. like history notes for a calculus exam.. otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
39. When you walk in, complain about the heat.
40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
41. One word: Wrestlemania.
42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.
43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
45. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc.. sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".
50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx is a Terrible Teacher."

 

50 fun things to do in an elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or
off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents
of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead
and muttering, 'Shut up, dammit, all of you just
shut UP!'
4. Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small
World' incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the
natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while
peering inside ask: 'Got enough air in there?'
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the
elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner,
facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain
to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when
they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper:
'Noogie patrol coming!'
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a
warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulants!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and
demand that it stay open until you hear the penny
you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the
bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a
while, and then announce: 'I've got new socks on!'
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from
the back, 'Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!'
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter
in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter 'gotta go, gotta go' then
sigh and say 'oops!'
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it
looks infected.
24. Sing 'Mary had a little lamb' while
continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler 'Chutes away!' whenever the elevator
descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says 'human head'
on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then
announce, 'You're one of THEM!' and move to the
far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say 'mmmm...tasty!'
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push
the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other
passengers 'through' it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and
ask 'is that your beeper?'
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say 'Ding!' at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say 'I wonder what all these do' and push the
red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a
stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk
and announce to the other passengers that this is
your 'personal space.'
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another
passenger: 'Wanna see wha in muh mouf?'
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long
strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: 'I must find a
more suitable host body.'
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a
button.
48. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at
other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say 'I think it's
getting larger.'
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and
holler 'Bad touch!'

 

 

 

51 ways to piss every1 off

1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which.
2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes.
3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would.
4) Act like a hillbilly. Period.
5) Improvise Italian operas.
6) Gossip about someone to their face.
7) Answer every question with a question.
8) Repeat yourself constantly.
9) Act like a member of the opposite sex.
10) Repeat yourself constantly.
11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.
12) Repeat yourself constantly.
13) Change what you repeat every now and then.
14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks.
15) Change what you repeat every now and then.
16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else.
17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries.
18) Change what you repeat every now and then.
19) One word: Caffeine.
20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar.
21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.
22) Using non-existent words like George Bush would.
23) Change what you repeat again.
24) Speak in rapid Spanish.
25) Pretend not to know about the rule of personal space.
26) When doing number 25, pretend to have a heavy nose cold causing you to breathe heavily through your mouth. Sneeze occasionally.
27) Change what you repeat again.
28) You are better than everybody else. Let them know so.
29) Rudely correct everybody's grammar.
30) Don't proper grammar use while you are correcting them.
31) Pretend to be drunk.
32) Groom yourself while standing backwards (towards everybody) in an elevator.
33) Change what you repeat again.
34) Pretend your name is Cletus-Atkins-Wheatherby-Percival-Smith, and don't answer to anything else.
35) Call everybody you know Bob or Georgia. Bob for girls, Georgia for boys.
36) Fine people for stupid things, like being too popular, or having to many teeth.
37) Change what you repeat again.
38) For those who wish to annoy, riddles is that in which you should speak.
39) Lick your lips constantly, acting as if doing so is pleasurable.
40) Pretend to be high.
41) Become severely narcoleptic in the middle of a conversazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
42) Change what you repeat again.
43) You ARE the lord of the dance. Never forget that.
44) Speak in Gaelic.
45) Blink rapidly and constantly.
46) Scratch yourself constantly. I am not saying where.
47) Strut.
48) Start repeating what you say as soon as you say it.
49) Start repeating what you say as soon as you say it.
50) Become "The Masked Wedgie Giver."
51) Have this list printed on a T-shirt and write above it "Check list for Today." Don't let anybody forget that you have it on.

75 Ways to Order Pizza

1. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
7. When they ask for your phone # give them theirs and see if they notice.
8. Answer their questions with questions.
9. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
10. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
11. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
12. Stutter on the letter "p."
13. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
15. Change your accent every three seconds.
16. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" See how they respond.
21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
22. Imitate the order taker's voice.
23. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
26. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.  

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
28. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
29. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
30. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
31. Ask to see a menu.
32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
33. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
34. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
35. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person taking the order to stop doing that.
36. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
37. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"
38. Psychoanalyze the order taker.
39. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
40. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
41. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
42. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
43. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
44. Try to talk while drinking something.
45. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
46. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
47. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
48. Be vague in your order.
49. Use CB lingo where applicable.
50. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
51. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
52. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
53. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
55. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
56. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
57. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
58. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
59. Put them on hold.
60. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
61. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."
62. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
63. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
64. When you've given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
65. Haggle.
66. Order a one-inch pizza.
67. Order term life insurance.
68. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
69. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
70. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
71. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
72. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
73. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
74. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
75. Order a steamed pizza.

9 things I hate about everyone

1.) People who point at their wrist while asking for the time..I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
2.) People who are willing to get off their ass and search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3.) When people say “oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too!” damn right!! What good is cake if you can’t eat it!?
4.) When people say “it’s always the last place you look” of coarse it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Where are they? I’m going to kick their ass!
5.) When people say while watching a film “did you see that?” no loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking floor!
6.) People who ask “can I ask you a question?” didn’t give me a choice, did you sunshine?
7.) When something is ‘new and improved’ which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If its improved, then there must have been something before it.
8.) When people say “life is short” what the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that’s longer?
9.) When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “has the bus come yet?” if the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

 

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This year, i have the lightest pack EVER for WR.......for all of u who dont know what WR(wilderness rendezvous) is, it's a huge hiking camp up in Cypress Hills, Saskatchewan in the West block, AKA the back country....funnest camp ever.  But yes, mine is like under 25 lbs. which is AWESOME for me....usually my pack weighs in at about 40 lbs. :D haha, i guess this time i can't bring Benji or an extra pillow...owell, but i'm out, Later Dayz


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