To start, I must say, you kids are retarded. Im yet to see anything of worth to read.
The point....
I got a job at starbucks mainly because I knew they were gonna take
over the world, and I wanted to be on the winning side. But it has come
to my attention, that Google, is now strong, and in the race for public
global (hostile) takeover.
I shall pit them against each other, in a battle royale-esque clash of the titans sorta thing.
BATTLE OF THE MILLENIA
Google: Google World
vs.
Starbucks: Christmas Blend
Google world is like the illest program in the whole world. I found my
old place in Saskatoon, in very little time at all. You can see full
3D, really pretty versionsof the worlds greatest spectacles. Such as:
The Grand Canyon, Great Wall Of China, and just about anything else you
can think of
*Starbucks Christmas Blend is a rich blend, of aged Indonesian coffees,
and Central American coffees. Each bean, specific to its region, gives
the coffee its distinct, spicy aroma. Perfect for holiday gatherings,
or to keep warm by a fire. Coffee experts created this coffee, to have
a perfect blend, of spice and flavours.
Winner: Google World!!
Seriously, its good coffee, but come onnnnnnnnnn! Google World!!
*I didnt even copy this from anywhere, isnt that scary?? Thats seriously how they talk at Starbucks!!
Google: Search Engine
vs.
Starbucks: Eggnog Latte
**Google became a 12 billion dollar company as soon as they became a
publicly traded company, from 100 million before. OH SNAP! Thats a
chunk a chedda there.
Eggnog is like the best thing ever. I have no idea how much Starbucks is worth.
**Not researched.
Winner: Eggnog Latte!
Seriously, EGGNOG! FUCK!
Google: GMail
vs.
Starbucks: Frappucino
Gmail, is pretty feckin sweet, it records your emails as conversations,
you never have to delete anything, you get an original email address.
None of that cam_b_69@hotmail.com crap. (man why WASNT that my email
address!!).
Theres nothing like a cold blended beverage to cool you down on a hot
summer day...remember summer, Mint Mocha Chip Frappucino Blenede
Coffee! Ugh. Give me a break. Someone gets paid WAY too much money to
come up with those slogans. At least it s not, "I'm lovin it!". that
said...I want some McDonalds...You have NO IDEA how bad Frappucinos are
for you. You might as well inject pure, liquid, DEATH into your blood
stream. Plus, the Green Tea Creme's are wack! Unless you get them with
no Melon syrup. Then its not bad at all.
Winner: Gmail duh.
I sure hope Gmail doesnt turn out wack.
Well those are the main playing fields for now. I cant wait to see the
newest weapons in this ultra-war of the digital age. I dont even know
what Starbucks has cookin right now. All I know, is that we gots to
sell some espresso machines!! Christmas time and all. I think I might
buy a coffee maker, theyre on sale, plus i get 40% off next week.
Current winner: Google.
Simply for my own sake and current status of being alive, it would be
beneficial if Starbucks pulled some sort of trick out of their sleeves.
We will see.
-cam
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