IF IT'S NOT IN QUOTES,
I f*ckING WROTE IT.
Is sick and tired of you bitches implying that my writing comes from lyrics or quotes.
. . .
Damnit all, anyway.
"
They say this place is a hospital, but I can tell it's a prison. There are locks on all the doors, and a mesh that looks like chicken wire runs through the glass windows. My food is brought to me on an unbreakable tray (I know it's unbreakable, since I threw it once). I get no utensils to eat with, not even plastic, in case I should decide to hurt myself orsomeoneelse. I have been informed by Dr.Thornton that restraints will continue to be used if necessary. So far this has been necessary twice. It is the worst feeling imaginable to be tied up like an animal, completely helpless. You can't even wipe your own nose. Naturally, I want to avoid their contraptions if I can, butI'm notpromisinganything."
I rememberwhen
,
Well.
Hardly.
I can't remember anything now.
It's like trying to remember colorwhen living in gray.
[howdepressing]
Only I can recall,
BeingUnderwater.
Laying on the bottom,
On bedrock.
Looking up at the surface.
I slowly release air,
and watched as it floated to the top.
From this point of view,
It looks fairly marvelous.
Until my Lungs begin to compress.
And. I. Can't. Breathe.
I just lay there,
And look at the surface.
I try to think of what would happen if I never swam up.
If I just stayed there.
But. I. Can't. Breathe.
And I think I'm suffocated,
But let's not jump to any conclusions.
The view looks like something out of a movie.
One of the old ones...
Where everything is distorted and turninggray.
It just hit STOP,
And now my head is rewinding.
I liked it when things were less complicated.
When our secret fears consisted of who would be the first to be thrown off the crazy horse we dared each other to jump on bareback in the pasture.
When we ran through the water until there was nothing left aside but fluid motion.
When our arms and legs were sccared from tripping through thorns, even thought we didn't care.
. . .
Now I'm locked up,
That horse was bit on the tongue by a rattlesnake and died.
That creek is infested with snakes,
Our
arms
have
scars
from
knives,
And my friends have abandoned me.
[yousaidyouwouldalwaysbethere,hipocrite]
....And. I. Can't. Breathe.
But let's not jump to any conclusions.
_____________________________________________
The monotone dies in crimson lights.
The perfume lies, covering [bloody] bites.
They drew a rapid sketch of an infalliablefacade.
Rescinded
Requiem;
Abate Heaven, the general moral excellence wouldn't permit such wreckless behavior.
I would never journey to such a place. It would be no more a home for me;
alike to the general vicinity of a sepulcher.
... Or a prison.
Stray.
..... What happened to those days, RadicalEd?
Blue > Toboe.
[irrelevant]
But this [whatseemslike] plenitude of morosediagnostics...
And then the others....
Sometimes I wonder if anything matters.
If I could onlyrecede into my previousstate of being. . .
You could never account for much. The least I recall was them saying, "Oh. Well. She's locked up, let's just forget her."
Makes me absolutely hate you.
Makesmewantshoveacarvingknifedownyour
THROAT
.
Naive Bitches.
ChaoticObscure: No, Sir.
andrizzlefosho: yes, mam.
Your love&&affection is poisen I hope to
[survive]
But the picture of youturningyourback,
IsTheEquivalentof;
BEING BURNED ALIVE.
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