Related Communities :  Central |  Snowboard |  Ski |  Tattoo |  Surf |  Skimboard |  bmx |  Wakeboard |  More...

Skip Navigation
You are viewing this website with either CSS support turned off, or are not using a CSS compliant browser. This will significantly reduce your Colonies.com experience.

 Advertisement Advertise With Us

Blogs Results

 
1-20 of 870 blog postss
1 2 3 4 5 ... 44 Next

My Blog: Answer in Blood
By: jordansbabygurl


     Answer in Blood
     When I think I want to die
I sit up in my room and cry
I grab my knife and start to fly
Blood will set me free.
     A whisper of metel across my wrists
pain I never thought I wold miss
I curl my hand into a fist
Blood will make me see
     A welling red, it's so devine
sending shivers up and down my spine
revenge will come in due time
Blood will be my key
     If only you will stop and see
Just how bad I'd like to flee
Maybe you could be the key
   Blood will release me
 
 
   For your viewing pleasure i have decided to start posting all the poems i write...i hope all of you will like them, but if you dont then piss of and get off my page bitch...lol...comment if you like them leave if you dont!!! LOVE YA'LL!!!
 


Published On: 5/26/2009
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
My Blog: January 21st 2009
By: miss_phit


     Hey everybody...some of you might know me as Jordansbabygurl...I AM NOT JORDANS BABY GURL...he is just a stupid a@@hole who should never have been born because he just wastes air and takes up much needed space...and this gurl sincearly hopes he falls off a rollarcoaster and breaks ever bone in his body...gets hit by a semi..something equally painful...and i am happy to report that he is now happily dating a he-she...if this makes you happpy as it makes me feel free to just let me know...otherwise you opinions really dont matter much...but i like talking to ppl anyway so...BYE

Published On: 1/21/2009
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
My Blog: Repetitive Nostalgia.
By: Ace_Skates_LVS


It was unknown untill it gradually presented it's self as a pre-conceived notion of happiness and a source of solace that one can throw themselves into oh so willingly knowing the full consequences of forcing a fallacy to become some abstract perspective of what one can only hope to be a reality.  Selfish acts such as what one has done can only be lived with on the lesson that one learns which is even though everything even remotely relevant to a significant other can not be forced or falsely believed to go how one may want it no matter if it always didn't go as planned in the past one has to let it be.  By despertately clinging on to the positive words said by another one can be put into a state of false reassurance that gets obliterated repetitiously by the biased thoughts that are always contemplated by one daily.  It's not an obsession it's the ultimate wish of ones life that was percieved to be actually in ones grasp.  It's the unfathomable feeling that one would want to be able to share.  The ever fluctuating emotions that are always felt is something that can throw one into multiple yet diverse states of depression excitement anxiety hopefulness that are harmful to ones resolve at times.  Never has it been within ones comprehension how someone elses words could be irrelevant but someone that is special to someone can send one into a downwards spiral of psychological bewilderment by just informing one of something that has even the smallest hint of the complete opposite of what one would want.  One's resolve struggles to stand strong but one is only human and can only withstand the tempting malicious charm of giving in and.....just putting one's heart where it belongs....which means alone to one's self.  One strives to analyze situations from diverse perspectives in order to do nothing but understand it all.  One....one would want everything to just be okay just for once.  Impossible it will always be for one to have ad ay of contemplation that doesn't include the single thought of....of you.  One read "surrender was never an option when it came to you" and one procured a perspective that from this day on there will never be just one anymore no matter what the future brings one will keep you in ones heart and when one looks back and notices one meant everything one said...one disappears.....now it's just me....just me standing here standing true to everything I have ever said...Just me remembering how it feels to actually believe for an instant that you meant what you said to me.  Just me sitting here everynight that I don't talk to you making excuses to myself as to why I shouldn't cry and just give up.  Just me at this very moment writing this full of tears as silent gags of regret escape my throat in front of these people I've come to call my friends.  Just me realizing as I am writing this...nothing will ever change.  Just me having even stronger feelings for you despite the conversations I've painfully yet silently endured about mutual association and "just friends".  Just me wanting you to know that I love you and I will always try to be there for you one way or the other friends, more than friends, even if we begin to drift apart and become nothing I respect everything you said and will understand your decisions in the future...I just want to say I'm sorry and I've never felt the need to be so apologetic in my life but it's just me now helping you
worrying you
annoying you
understanding you
respecting you
loving you
wanting you
missing you...
infinitely waiting for you....


Just me fully putting 110% in this all for you...
Just me...dedicating everything I have left to you....

Published On: 10/27/2008
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
My Blog: PAIN
By: skatergirl_1711


PAIN, WITHOUT LOVE
PAIN, I CANT GET ENOUGH
PAIN, I LIKE IT ROUGH
CAUSE I'D RATHER FEEL PAIN THAN NOTHING AT ALL
 
YOU'RE SICK OF FEELING NUMB
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE
I'LL TAKE YOU BY THE HAND
AND I'LL SHOW YOU A WORLD THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND
 
THIS LIFE IS FILLED WITH HURT
WHEN HAPPINESS DOESN'T WORK
TRUST ME AND TAKE MY HAND
WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
 
PAIN, WITHOUT LOVE
PAIN, CAN'T GET ENOUGH
PAIN, I LIKE IT ROUGH
CAUSE I'LL RATHER FEEL PAIN THAN NOTHING AT ALL!
 
THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG FROM THREE DAY GRACE... CALLED PAIN.....


Published On: 4/29/2008
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
WSA_: “Lets Talk About Feelings” Art Show/ Ipath shoes WSA Fundraiser
By: wsa


On the last day of the WSSF Bind Mute Productions and Crispin Lipscomb put together an art show in Function Junction. Blind Mute took care of the artists and Crispin decided it would be a good idea to get a bunch of white Ipath shoes that could be painted and then were auctioned which raised a total of $725 for the Whistler Skateboard Association. The event had a good vibe and a whole lot of sweet art from over 50 different artists. Thanks goes out to Pepe and Randy at Blind Mute Productions, Crispin Lipscomb and all the artists for making the event possible and thinking of the Whistler Skateboard Association.

Published On: 4/27/2008
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
My Blog: yeah
By: death_god15


there is a god
his name is death
he walk among us
choseing his next
he writes their name with his blood
he laughs
knowing that their gonna die
he see's our names with his eyes
he dosent have a syth
just a book
 
 
he cry's knowing he has done wrong
its his burdon
he's the only one
the pain in his chest
where his heart should belong
he has wing's but likes to walk
we cant see him
he's just there
 
 
he is a god that cannot die
he writes his own name
hopeing that he should die
his life is a burdon
one that he cannot stand
he falls to his knees
and he wonders why
the gods hate him
as he begins to die.


Published On: 3/29/2008
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
My Blog: hoobastank- the reason
By: Death_Angel


I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so, I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you


Published On: 3/28/2008
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
My Blog: DRAGONFORCE- THROUGH THE FIRE AND FLAMES
By: daykota_m2


these are some of my favorite song lyrics.    
 
 
 

Through The Fire And The Flames

On a cold winter morning, in the time before the light
In flames of death's eternal reign we ride towards the fight
When the darkness has fallen down, and the times are tough all right
The sound of evil laughter falls around the world tonight

Fighting hard, fighting on for the steel, through the wastelands evermore
The scattered souls will feel the hell bodies wasted on the shores
On the blackest plains in hell's domain, we watch them as we go
In fire and pain, and once again we know

So now we fly ever free
We're free before the thunderstorm
On towards the wilderness our quest carries on
Far beyond the sundown, far beyond the moonlight
Deep inside our hearts and all our souls

[Chorus:]
So far away we wait for the day
For the light source so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on

As the red day is dawning
And the lightning cracks the sky
They'll raise their hands to the heavens above
With resentment in their eyes
Running back from the mid-morning light
There's a burning in my heart
We're banished from a time in a fallen land
To a life beyond the stars

In your darkest dreams see to believe
Our destiny is time
And endlessly we'll all be free tonight

And on the wings of a dream, so far beyond reality
All alone in desperation, now the time has gone
Lost inside you'll never find, lost within my own mind
Day after day this misery must go on

Now here we stand with their blood on our hands
We fought so hard now can we understand
I'll break the seal of this curse if I possibly can
For freedom of every man

if you do not like this song then dont post anythign means but if you like this song and like the lyrics you rock in my book



Published On: 3/22/2008
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
Vaughn Whynot's Blog: Camera Tips - Camera Handle
By: Mr.Whynot


"from the site HDskate.com articles Make Your Own Video Camera Handle"

Make Your Own Video Camera Handle

Alright so you want a better way to film lines and all around, make your filming smoother. The answer is a tripod mount handle. Your end result will look like this.

Camera with finished handle

Your best bet is to start working on a clean, level surface. Try not to use the best table in the house, unless no one is going to care. It’s probably better to work on something fairly high off the ground, seeing as I always work on the floor and cause myself uneeded back pain.

To get started, here’s everything you need and it can all be found at your local hardware store. Luckily I found everything in my basement.

  • One peice of metal, 1 inch wide, 1/8th to 1/4 inch thick and about 20 inches long. More for larger cameras. Less for smaller cameras. Around 20 is average.
  • One quarter inch bolt to screw the handle into the tripod mount hole.
  • One wingnut to screw upside down into the screw to secure it to a camera.
  • A washer or two .

Materials

Materials

The next step is to drill the hole in the piece of metal. To do this turn your camera upside down and grab a tape measure. Measure the distance from the tripod hole to the front of the camera. That’s how far away from the start of your handle your hole should be. Make a mark there with a marker then use a drill to bore a hole through it. A drill press would be much easier if you have accesss to one. On the handle I made here, the hole was already on the piece of metal so I decided to use that and it’s actually fine for the Panasonic GS series cameras.

After you have your hole drilled decide how far along the metal bar you want your bands to be. You should probably have something along the lines of 6 inches for the bottom, 6 inches for the vertical part, and 7 inches for the top, but like I said earlier, if you’re cameras bigger you might wanna make it bigger. You probably won’t have to make it more than 22 inches. Again, using a measure tape and a marker, make marks at the places you wann to bend at.

Measure And Mark

Measure And Mark

Now You want to find something you can use to bend the metal. A couple good choices are:

  • Some heavy weights, about 100 pounds or so. You can wedge the handle under the very bottom one and lift it up at the marked bend location.
  • Vise grip, lock it in so you can just bearly see your markings then pull/push to bend it.
  • A pole, like I did.

Bend The Handle

Bend The Handle

Once You have both the bends done that’s just about it. You might want to paint your handle or put some stickers on it to decorate it. One of the coolest things is to get the infrared remote your camera came with and tape it to the top so you can record without taking your hand off the handle.

Screw the handle on to your tripod mount and you’re done!



Published On: 3/8/2008
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
My Blog: the end
By: bi_gothgirl


my life is ending i cant live this way anymore im srry to all my friends and family but the pain is just too much 4 me 2 take anymore i love you guys and ill miss u but i have to end it i just do. alex and jeff this is wut happens when u guys do wut you have done to me  hopefully it will make u think b4 u mess with someones head again.
 
 
good bye love everyone
Deanna


Published On: 2/26/2008
View Comments Add/View Comments (1)
My Blog: Lil' Wayne Apologize (remix) Lyrics
By: Sk8er_d8er0517


Lil' Wayne Apologize (remix) Lyrics
Featuring: Timbaland Lyrics

[One Republic:]
I'm holdin' on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearin' what your sayin'
But I just can't make a soundd
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me downn
But waaiiitt;
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn aroundd
And sayyy

[Lil' Wayne]
Okay, I'm talkin' about a
Good girl, gone bad
Crooked world, wrong path
Right Mom, wrong Dad
I sing this song mad, but not mad enough to shoot you
But it just eats me up, like some bbq from Luther's
In the mornin' with the roosters
On the corner with the boosters
And she's the freshcut and they're on her like sutures
And I wanna talk to her
But her Mama has to school her
I wanna see her better
She's the weather of my future
I don't wanna see another hurricane
Baby you can kill the pain
If you just let me explain
Trust me I know what I'm sayin'
You will end up on the track of an oncoming train
Stuck in the passenger seat
Travlin' through the fast lane

[Bun B]
Well once upon a time, there was a Mom and a Dad
Who on the outside had everything people wished they had
A beautiful daughter, two story house, two car garage
And a white picket fence wrapped around the front yard
See Daddy was a doctor
And Mommy was a banker
Mommy's job got outsourced
So now Mommy's dranker
Daddy had a malpractice suit
Now he's a snorter
And all this shi*t's takin' place
Right in front of their daughter
She says, “Daddy what's wrong?”
But he's just too high
“Mommy what we gon' do?”
She just get drunk and cry
Caught in the middle of two wrongs, tryin' to do right
Lookin' for answers alone in the darkness of night
They say...

[One Republic w/ Outro:]
I'm holdin' on your rope
Got me ten feet off the groundd
And I'm hearin' what your sayin
But I just can't make a soundd
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me downnn,
But waaiiitt
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn arooound
And sayyy

That it's too latee to apologizee
It's too lateee
I said it's too latee to apologizee
It's too lateee


Published On: 2/10/2008
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
My Blog: She Could Care Less
By: A_Fallen_Hero


Even on the darkest nights
She can make my eyes shine.
Even in the empty nights
She can make me feel whole.
Even on my worst days
She can always make me smile.
Even on the coldest days
She can make my heart warm.
But rarely is she ever
Here to do those things.
Rarely is she ever
Here to see my pain.
I can’t tell if it’s bad luck
Or maybe I’m cursed.
Either way I’m all alone
And she could care less.
She’s broken my heart
And put it back together.
Each time, another piece
Is missing from the puzzle.
I give her another chance
To fix what she broke.
I give her a second chance
But she could care less.
I want to forget about her
The feelings I feel.
The dreams I imagine
The need I have for her.
She’s all I can think about
All I want to think about.
All I need to think about
All I think about.
I want to call her mine
But that will never be.
I try everything I can
But she could care less.



Published On: 1/15/2008
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
My Blog: one of my fairly recent poems. it's not that great but i think it gets the point across.
By: lonelyone


I'm Screaming on the inside
bleeding, suffocating,
dying
I'm Smiling on the outside
laughing, breathing,
thriving
Again I want to escape
It's already been another year
My heart aches
Boiling my blood
Turning it into tears
I want to vomit, puke it all out.
All the pain and the hurt
All the disatisfaction and the discomfort
All the torture and all the confusion
I just want a real smile on my face
With none of this to bring me down
And more than that I want to be free

Published On: 12/8/2007
View Comments Add/View Comments (1)
My Blog: i can relate
By: DatGirl101


Walking in my nighty; rubbing my eyes
My fathers sitting on the sofa with his friend
He pats the seat in the middle; i sit
Shivering so cold; a quilt he lends

"Jessy you love me dont you" a smile; his
Their breathe spirts weep
"Daddy you know i do; what is it?"
He smiles at his friend; his hand creeps

His friend takes my hand; looks me in the eyes
Daddys creeping up my nightie; cold hands
I try to pull his hand away; grip is strong!
They look at one another; nod; something planned

I feel my palms sweat; Daddys under my knickers
"Daddy im going to bed! Night" Pulling again
But there grip is to strong for weak me
I look at both; and ask, who are these men?

His fingers going up me; pulling away
His friend leans forward; a kiss? Why?
His toungue moving mine; my eyes squint
Lean back and away; "Why are you doing this?"
No answer, i feel the pain inside me; him
Chucks the quilt on the floor; me to
I try and scamper away, but im not fast
"O Daddy please, i love you"

His friend; pulling at my nightie
And my Dad pulling my pants down
His friend pinning my hands to the floor
As my Dad lies himself on the ground

I squirm; as Daddy friend pulls me up
And places me ontop of Daddy; thrusts within
I cry; i bite; i scratch; i slap; i fail
"O Daddy please you win you win!"

I can feel my skin rip; my virginity breaking free
I can feel the blood seep down my leg
"Daddy your hurting me please"
I plead to him and his friend; not even a beg

Daddys laughing; why does he laugh?
His friend shoves himself in my mouth and moans
Tieing my hands togather; moving in and out
"Ride me Jessy" He laughs and groans

They smile at one another; laugh to
They roll me over and spread me wide wel
My daddy sits on my face; himself in again
While his friend talks and pushes himself inside

I can hardly breathe; i gag for air
I cough and splutter; cry and weep
I beg and plead; but its no use
Theyve already made me hurt and bleed

I stare into his eyes; that look upon me
This is not my Dad; where is he?
If he was still here; would he care
Would he actually even; see?

Finally they get of and lie me on the sofa
My cheeks blouchy from tears and pain
They play with them selfs; all over me
Rub it in; making me feel the shame

"Why Daddy? Please tell me why?"
Dad looks at his friend; and waves him away
"Jessy i love you" he smiles and kisses my cheek
"Is that all you have in your heart to say?"

He puts my nightie on me
I walks me to my bedroom door
Ever since that night; His friend
And himself every Friday come back for more

"Night sweet Girl; You are my life"
Closing the door, tears still down my face
Still the smell of him and his friend
Fade into me like disgrace


I watch the Moon go down; the sun come up
"Jessy its school" Knocking at my door
I cant help but cry; weep in pain
Because im so scared he wanted more

But one night daddy took it too far
Daddy and his friend came back for one last shot
They were worried they would get caught
So he and his friend took me to a cemetary lot

I was blindfolded and my hands were tied back
"Daddy please!! Not tonight!"
Daddy and his friend both had their last fun
After that i tried to put up a fight

I begged daddy "Please no more!"
All he could say "Shut up you stupid whore!"
Daddy unblindfolded me at last
He said I love you so much

He went back into the car and pulled out a bat
"Daddy I swear I wont say a thing!!!!"
I was dead
After only one swing..........................

Published On: 12/7/2007
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
My Blog: Sad Murmur/Evil's Acolyte
By: You.re.Unbelievable


    Sad Murmur

The sound of wings
Flutter in silent sadness
As the resonance imbalances
The plane of reality
A soft good-bye
As the dream fades away
But the flutter
And the mutter
Remains
Tears fall like feathers
Freezing time
Nothing can replace the empty heart
That love of mine

 
 
 
 
 
Evil’s Acolyte 

A man was standing in the middle of the desert. There was no sign of life around him, only what once was living, his victims. Before him lay the sheath of a sword; in his hand the sword.

“Calm yourself,” it whispered in his ear, “ you need to focus.”

“ I can’t, it’s much too hard for me.”

“ No! You must…Success is imperative; you don’t want to go back to that place do you?”

“ No you can’t; please don’t…” whimpered the man.

He tried to struggle against himself, straining, unsuccessful.

“Ha ha ha I already told you, your silly attempts are futile; I control you, I am you, I am the blood that courses through your veins, you are at my will”.

“No,” cried the man “ I am not a monster like you!!”

 He fell to the ground and laid the sword before him, through tears he whispers,

“I am not like you…I can’t be like you…I can’t…” he repeats it again and again in a steady murmur. He lurches forward as he feels a sharp pain in his head.

“ See, I did that; you can’t escape me, why would you try, it was you who created me after all; I am the black side of your soul, you put me in this position, I need to be fed” he giggled.

He stood up, grave, worn, his eyes told the tale of a weary man.

“I know what I must do then.”

He picks up the sword and with his finally breath he uttered these words,

“ If this is inevitable, if all that’s left of me is this, then I must leave this all behind; and you shall come with me.”

“Wait! No! What are you doi-“

The man took the sword and thrust it into his stomach; all that was left was the sheath and a somewhat duller sword.



Published On: 12/3/2007
View Comments Add/View Comments (2)
my blog: ppl
By: black_voodoo


I’m tired of being misunderstood, nerves are shot, weak – like old wood. I’m tired of being ill, no energy, can’t think, losing my skills.  I’m tired of trying to make things right, i give up – I surrender, no will to fight. I’m tired of seeing others in pain, raises frustration, drives me insane. I’m tired of not being able to cry, i’d melt away, nothing left inside. I’m tired because I can’t feel, walking in a daze – numb this can’t be real. I’m tired of being “strong,” i’m weak, i’m fragile, its gone on way to long. I don’t know what else to say, i’m hoping, i’m dreaming, i’m begging, i’m pleading, please, take this feeling away. Right now… I’m just tired… of everything maybe

Published On: 12/1/2007
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
my blog: Hate is a strong word, but, so is love
By: black_voodoo


Im writing you to tell you im sorry. Im sorry that we dont spend as much time together as we used to. I've taken advantage you. I only visit you on my time, and i no longer think of you as much as i used to.  I think its best if u make up ur mind .. quit changing your mind ..i know your going through stuff && i really help u but i dont think u will let me thats alright i understand last night was a rough night...everything will be alright babe dont worry im here to talk if u want ..  After saying goodbye to Corey   at like 10pm   i drove home... and crawled into bed... i was so incredibly tired... but for some odd reason i just couldnt fall asleep... so after  hours of fiddling with my cell phone&& on my computer ... and past the time of ipod listening... and the painting my nails...  watching t.v. i decided that i would lay down in my bed, close my eyes and hope for the best... at first it was a little overwelming, there were so meny thoughts racing through my head. Good ones, bad ones... i had decisions to make, things to do... but after laying there for about a half hour they started to fade away... I felt like God was telling me woah anna, you need to chill out and think... now the subject that last came into my head is wayyy to confusing to talk about.. but it involves two other people besides me, so some people know what im talking about, at first when i thought about it i was really bummed out, this topic is sooo not fun... i dont want to take the easy way out, i really dont, but if thats what needs to happen it probably will... sadly enough. but you know me, how my brain wonders, and i bounce from subject to subject like mad. I came to and idea. What if, once you born, god gave a name. A name of another person, that was already born, or yet to be born. That person got your name too, and that person was the one that you were supposed to spend the rest of you life with. You grew up knowing that person, god made you compatible, you loved the same things, shared the same intrests, and you knew that they were the one... there would be no cheating, no question, there wouldnt be another girl, or "chemistry" with someone else. There wouldnt be tha best friend gone bad that wants your guy. There would be no abuse, it would be PERFECT. but the world isnt like that. right now we're in a time of trial and error. Who knows the person your dating now could be your husband, or someone just to share memories with at highschool reunions, or you may never see them again. i wish things wernt complicated, but they are. Im willing to try, to try and make it through this rough time, are you?
 
xoxo - brianne


Published On: 11/24/2007
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
My Blog: Am I Strong Enough
By: A_Fallen_Hero


Only the strong survive

So grab the bull by the horns

And give ‘em hell

 

Run into the dark

Ready for anything

Unafraid of fear

 

Bars can’t hold me

Cages can’t keep me

But my heart can slow me down

 

Undying strength

Unreal power

Unafraid of fear

 

Fight through the pain

A battle that must be won

Because only the strong survive

 

But am I strong enough?



Published On: 11/19/2007
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
My Blog: My feelings well one of my new poems that is in a book now..wrote this after i lost
By: xxpoisinouskissxx


Not much longer

 

my breathing is getting low

my heart is hadly beating now.

im in this nightmare that has no

ending.

im stuck and theres no way of me

getting out of it.

my wrists are bleeding from the tip

of a kinfe blade i slowly drag it across

my wrists so i can feel it i see the blood

coming out

i keep thinking why am i still alive i should

be dead by now

im screaming and crying on the inside but

nobody can ever tell because they will

never be able to understand

im not sure if i can be alive for so much longer now

i cry as i wipe the tears away with my handi notice that

i am crying tears of blood i start getting scared

so i just took the razor that i had...and cut alot

more all over my body to try a make it to where my

eyes would not bleed anymore

i look up at my pillow its all red its all full of my blood

i start crying again and i slowly fall asleep

i wake up my bed is all bloody and not all of my blood

that was on the bed has not yet soaked up yet...

i try cleaning it up but yet again i wasnt good

at cleaning things up...

am i good at anything?

am i pretty?

no im not because i have cuts everywhere

its because i feel like im all dead inside

and everytime i feel the blade slice my skin and i see

the blood comeing out.

i notice then that in fact i am not dead.....yet......

and i am surprised becuase i feel all dead inside so

i would of guessed that i am dead but im not

im not trying to be fake i dont do it because other

people do it...and im not doing it for the attention

heres another reason why i do it...it is becuase everytime

i cut it takes my mind off of the mentally emotions that i hae and

it makes me think more about the pain that i am doing at the

moment.......

how come everybody judges me?

how come people hide stuff?

u tell me the reason



Published On: 11/18/2007
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
My Blog: You idiot WHY?!?!
By: bjones


Sometimes you try to figure out why you love someone so much, but you really just can't. I'm sick of lying and saying I hate boys when I really love them. I have been in love 2 times, once I was happier than ever could be imagined for a girl of my age. I wish I could have a chance to be that happy again, be so happy that no one can ever hurt me cause that one person gives me a reason to smile. I have been hurt more times than I have ever been in love, when I was in love, of course my heart was only ripped out and dropped into the hard soil, only to be replaced once again, and everytime my heart beats, I feel the pain of the dirt inside me, tearing me slowly apart.
 
I have learned slowly over the past 2 years, that I can't trust anyone. Not even those I love, because human beings will never EVER be perfect, and they will dissappoint you more than once, its human nature. I'm sick of feeling hopeless, lost, and disoriented, I want someone to love me, for who I am on the inside, not my looks, they should be bonus. I have grown sick of being looked at like I'm a peice of meat, I want people to see the inner core, not the outer no matter how tempting it may be.
 
Guys always say they are different, I wish they would quit saying that, cause I know for a fact every guy to some point IS the same, all of them that say that look at me sexually. I'M sick of it and I'm sure a lot of others are as well!!! I'M NOT THE MAIN COURSE ON YOUR MENU.... I'M A HUMAN BEING, BOYS... GET OVER YOURSELVES... STOP THINKING WITH WHAT'S IN YOUR PANTS, INSTEAD OF YOUR HEAD... AND THEN MAYBE!!!! I WILL THINK ABOUT GIVING YOU A CHANCE.


Published On: 11/9/2007
View Comments Add/View Comments (0)
1-20 of 870 blog postss
1 2 3 4 5 ... 44 Next
Problems, Comments, Suggestions

About |  Advertise |  Jobs |  Community Index |  Email |  FAQ |  Terms
Copyright ©2004 Colonies.com