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It was unknown untill it gradually presented it's self as a pre-conceived notion of happiness and a source of solace that one can throw themselves into oh so willingly knowing the full consequences of forcing a fallacy to become some abstract perspective of what one can only hope to be a reality.  Selfish acts such as what one has done can only be lived with on the lesson that one learns which is even though everything even remotely relevant to a significant other can not be forced or falsely believed to go how one may want it no matter if it always didn't go as planned in the past one has to let it be.  By despertately clinging on to the positive words said by another one can be put into a state of false reassurance that gets obliterated repetitiously by the biased thoughts that are always contemplated by one daily.  It's not an obsession it's the ultimate wish of ones life that was percieved to be actually in ones grasp.  It's the unfathomable feeling that one would want to be able to share.  The ever fluctuating emotions that are always felt is something that can throw one into multiple yet diverse states of depression excitement anxiety hopefulness that are harmful to ones resolve at times.  Never has it been within ones comprehension how someone elses words could be irrelevant but someone that is special to someone can send one into a downwards spiral of psychological bewilderment by just informing one of something that has even the smallest hint of the complete opposite of what one would want.  One's resolve struggles to stand strong but one is only human and can only withstand the tempting malicious charm of giving in and.....just putting one's heart where it belongs....which means alone to one's self.  One strives to analyze situations from diverse perspectives in order to do nothing but understand it all.  One....one would want everything to just be okay just for once.  Impossible it will always be for one to have ad ay of contemplation that doesn't include the single thought of....of you.  One read "surrender was never an option when it came to you" and one procured a perspective that from this day on there will never be just one anymore no matter what the future brings one will keep you in ones heart and when one looks back and notices one meant everything one said...one disappears.....now it's just me....just me standing here standing true to everything I have ever said...Just me remembering how it feels to actually believe for an instant that you meant what you said to me.  Just me sitting here everynight that I don't talk to you making excuses to myself as to why I shouldn't cry and just give up.  Just me at this very moment writing this full of tears as silent gags of regret escape my throat in front of these people I've come to call my friends.  Just me realizing as I am writing this...nothing will ever change.  Just me having even stronger feelings for you despite the conversations I've painfully yet silently endured about mutual association and "just friends".  Just me wanting you to know that I love you and I will always try to be there for you one way or the other friends, more than friends, even if we begin to drift apart and become nothing I respect everything you said and will understand your decisions in the future...I just want to say I'm sorry and I've never felt the need to be so apologetic in my life but it's just me now helping you
worrying you
annoying you
understanding you
respecting you
loving you
wanting you
missing you...
infinitely waiting for you....


Just me fully putting 110% in this all for you...
Just me...dedicating everything I have left to you....

Published On: 10/27/2008
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Roxo Rideshop is an online store that supports small brands in there struggle against corporate america.

We are always looking for new and inspiring brands.

If you are looking to sell your products on our site, please send a product catalog and price sheet to:
SmallBrands@roxorideshop.com



Published On: 6/7/2008
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Mark Appleyards Mom just called me to inform me
Jake Phelps along with a team of skaters are coming from Australia to Skate Black Pearl Tomorrow, so everyone this side will be out to watch. I will keep everybody updated as to who is coming tomorrow.
Slap Magazine visited Cuba, I heard they had a blast, they also left without shoes, socks, and skateboards as these people over there love to skate so if you have any boards or completes you would like to send over let me know as we have flights every week Fridays and Mondays. Lets keep them skating as equipment is difficult to come by.
Check out in Google search, skateboarding in Cuba, I found a websight, skateboard chrisis in Cuba, there is some great footage of their park and also their struggles when they break a board. When you see this you will feel so luky that as for you all you need to do is go online or check out your local skate shop. THEY HAVE NONE!!!!
 
 
Steve Myers
 
 
 


Published On: 3/10/2008
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Words and photos: Scott McClellan

    A few weeks ago a bunch of us packed up our passports and bottle openers and decided to drive down from the big smoke to the big apple to do a little bit of that good stuff called skateboarding. Five short days later we were back, but we returned with a heap of stories and a little bit of footage. The following is none of that, but instead just a brief glimpse at some of the down time between awesomeness. Enjoy.

NYC TRIP    <-- Lookin’ hard just comes easily to some. It seems these guys struggle with it more than most. From Brooklyn; Manhattan island, Bud Patterson, Joey Maher, Nik Sexton, Nacho and Ian St. Aubin.

NYC TRIPNYC TRIP

NYC TRIP    Stuff you’d expect to see in NYC that’s not the Empire state building, the Statue of Liberty or some guy getting jacked on the corner (we did get to see those things too). --->

NYC TRIP    <--Nacho, Nick Wilton and his girlfriend Leiko all happened to be in town the same weekend that we were. Pretty sweet timing. They were there to see the Wu Tang play and Nacho also came to take naps at all of New York’s famous skate spots. He did a pretty good job of it too. Here he dreams of someday being on top of the world.NYC TRIP

Bud and Joey take a minute between awesomeness. Nacho naps behind a pillar while Joey tries to remember if he turned the stove off before he left the country. -->

NYC TRIP   <--- Forget sleep walking, Nik would sleep skate all night long. It was pretty rad at first but got kinda old around 6:30am when you’re trying to sleep and he keeps landing on you.

NYC TRIPIan St. Aubin: Alley-oop flip. ---->




Published On: 2/8/2008
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My Blog: WFC
By: Soldier712







Walhalla Fighting Championship:

This is something we started and would like to go big. We hold fights to see who the greates fighters are.


Champions:

Heavyweight: Thomas"The Caveman"Clark
Light heavyweight: Roman"The Soldier"Fortner
Middleweight: Vacant
Lightweight:"The man Without Fear"James Warnstorff


Fighters:

Roman Fortner
Height: 5'8"                          Strengths:  
Weight: 211lbs                      Strong takedowns
Age: 19                                  Impressive ground game
Reach: 56                               Devastating ground and pound
Style: Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu 

Thomas Clark
Height: 6'7"                           Strengths:
Weight: 340lbs                       Gigantic Size
Age: 20                                   Strong Grappler
Reach: 72                                Great Ground and Pound defense
Style: Wrestling, Kickboxing

James Warnstorff
Height: 5'7"                            Strengths:
Weight: 120lbs                        Strong striker
Age: 16                                    Effective on back
Reach: 56                                 Good takedowns
Style: Boxing, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

John Davis
Height: 5'10"                         Strengths:
Weight: 135lbs                        Fast striker
Age: 19                                   Excellent takedown defense
Reach: 60                                Quick on his feet
Style: Tae Kwon Do





Weight classes: 
Lightweight - over 145 lbs. to 170 lbs.
 Middleweight - over 170 lbs. to 190 lbs.
Light Heavyweight - over 190 lbs. to 215 lbs.
Heavyweight - over 215 lbs. to 265 lbs.

Bout duration: 
All non-championship bouts shall be three rounds.
All championship bouts shall be five rounds.
Rounds will be five minutes in duration.
A one-minute rest period will occur between each round.


Fouls: 

1.   Butting with the head.
2.   Eye gouging of any kind.
3.   Biting.
4.   Hair pulling.
5.   Fish hooking.
6.   Groin attacks of any kind. 
7.   Putting a finger into any orifice or into any cut or laceration on an opponent.
8.   Small joint manipulation.
9.   Striking to the spine or the back of the head.
10. Striking downward using the point of the elbow.
11. Throat strikes of any kind, including, without limitation, grabbing the trachea.
12. Clawing, pinching or twisting the flesh.
13. Grabbing the clavicle.
14. Kicking the head of a grounded opponent.
15. Kneeing the head of a grounded opponent.
16. Stomping a grounded opponent.
17. Kicking to the kidney with the heel.
18. Spiking an opponent to the canvas on his head or neck.
19. Throwing an opponent out of the ring or fenced area.
20. Holding the shorts or gloves of an opponent.
21. Spitting at an opponent.
22. Engaging in an unsportsmanlike conduct that causes an injury to an opponent.
23. Holding the ropes or the fence.
24. Using abusive language in the ring or fenced area.
25. Attacking an opponent on or during the break.
26. Attacking an opponent who is under the care of the referee.
27. Attacking an opponent after the bell has sounded the end of the period of unarmed combat.
28. Flagrantly disregarding the instructions of the referee. 
29. Timidity, including, without limitation, avoiding contact with an opponent, intentionally or consistently dropping the mouthpiece or faking an injury.
30. Interference by the corner.
31. Throwing in the towel during competition.
32. Striking the knee in any way.

Ways To Win:  
1. Submission by:
           Physical tap out.
           Verbal tap out. 
2. Technical knockout by the referee stopping the contest.
3. Decision via the scorecards, including: 
           Unanimous decision [all judges pick the same fighter as the winner].
           Split decision [One judge picks one fighter, the other two judges pick the other fighter].
           Majority decision [two of three judges pick the same fighter as the winner].
           Draw, including:
                  Unanimous draw.
                  Majority draw.
                  Split draw.
4. Technical decision.
5. Technical draw.
6. Disqualification.
7. Forfeit.
8. No contest.

Fighting Syles:

Boxing

The skill or sport of fighting with the fists usually with padded leather gloves. Referred to as the "sweet science," boxers use elaborate foot maneuvers and quick jabs for offense. 

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

In the mid-1920's, Carlos Gracie opened the Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Academy in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. He taught the skills he learned from Japanese Judo master Esai Maeda. The skills were later modified to use less strength and to be more effective against larger opponents. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu's reputation spread due to the success of its practitioners in no holds barred contests. 

Jiu Jutsu

Ancient Japanese martial art that encompasses throwing, joint locks, striking, and weapons training. 

Judo

Sportive Japanese martial art founded in 1882 by Jigoro Kano. Derived from Jujutsu, Judo is now an Olympic sport that emphasizes throws. Striking is not allowed in competition Judo. 

Karate

Name used to identify many Japanese and Okinawan martial arts. While known for powerful, linear techniques, many Karate styles also incorporate softer, circular techniques. Some of the popular styles of Karate are Kyokushinkai, Shotokan, Goju-Ryu, Shorin-Ryu, and Kenpo which was the first "Americanized" version of Karate. 

Kickboxing

Sportive martial art combining boxing punches and martial arts kicks. Many different styles with different rules exist such as Muay Thai, Full Contact Karate, and Asian Rules Fighting.  

Kung Fu

Also referred to as Gung Fu, Chinese Boxing, and Wu Shu. There are hundreds of Kung Fu styles. Many are patterned after the movements of animals. Some well known styles of Kung Fu are Wing Chun, Praying Mantis, Pau Kua, Tai-Chi-Ch'uan, and Shuai Chiao. 

Tae Kwon Do

One of the most practiced martial arts in the world, Tae Kwon Do is a Korean style known for its flashy kicking techniques. 

Wrestling

Possibly the world's oldest sport. Contestants struggle hand to hand attempting to throw or take down their opponent without striking blows. Some of the many styles of wrestling are Freestyle, Greco-Roman, and catch as catch can. 






Published On: 12/9/2007
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    Sad Murmur

The sound of wings
Flutter in silent sadness
As the resonance imbalances
The plane of reality
A soft good-bye
As the dream fades away
But the flutter
And the mutter
Remains
Tears fall like feathers
Freezing time
Nothing can replace the empty heart
That love of mine

 
 
 
 
 
Evil’s Acolyte 

A man was standing in the middle of the desert. There was no sign of life around him, only what once was living, his victims. Before him lay the sheath of a sword; in his hand the sword.

“Calm yourself,” it whispered in his ear, “ you need to focus.”

“ I can’t, it’s much too hard for me.”

“ No! You must…Success is imperative; you don’t want to go back to that place do you?”

“ No you can’t; please don’t…” whimpered the man.

He tried to struggle against himself, straining, unsuccessful.

“Ha ha ha I already told you, your silly attempts are futile; I control you, I am you, I am the blood that courses through your veins, you are at my will”.

“No,” cried the man “ I am not a monster like you!!”

 He fell to the ground and laid the sword before him, through tears he whispers,

“I am not like you…I can’t be like you…I can’t…” he repeats it again and again in a steady murmur. He lurches forward as he feels a sharp pain in his head.

“ See, I did that; you can’t escape me, why would you try, it was you who created me after all; I am the black side of your soul, you put me in this position, I need to be fed” he giggled.

He stood up, grave, worn, his eyes told the tale of a weary man.

“I know what I must do then.”

He picks up the sword and with his finally breath he uttered these words,

“ If this is inevitable, if all that’s left of me is this, then I must leave this all behind; and you shall come with me.”

“Wait! No! What are you doi-“

The man took the sword and thrust it into his stomach; all that was left was the sheath and a somewhat duller sword.



Published On: 12/3/2007
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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Published On: 10/28/2007
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The painful memories that come to my head
To think of them as i lay crying in bed
They can't be earsed they come and they go
To loose my seed before it could grow
The painful memories they come in all sorts
But when my seed was dieing he didn't give me support
My painful memories inwade my dreams at night
The painful memories of the struggles i had to fight
The painful memories of him holding me tight
The painful memories i wish they would go
Some of these painful memories don't need to show
The painful memories... 
 


Published On: 2/28/2007
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 Interview with Ruben Najera
Questions and lifestyle photo by “Scoffman
Action shot by Sheyla V. 
 
 

 
 So before we get started are there any shout-outs you want to give? Definitely!!! All of my sponsors!! Jason at SCOFF skateboarding hell yea indestructible laces man!!!Mike G. at ) nice skate shoes, STRUGGLE skateboards, Lisa at Destructo & Speed Metal, Jason at Gripgum, Eric at OGIO, John at Thiesnuts hardware, Lisa at Peter Grimm, Dylan at olliepop, Scotty at Taildevil and  Isaac at Cali Boardwear. I would also like to thank my beautiful lady Sheyla in which I adore and love. She supports me 100%. And my family of course no doubt!!!

 So how did you come about to be on the Scoff team? Well I think it was an email I received from you back in the day. I believe I am one of the original riders. The concept was so rad and I had never seen anything like it. You truly have to get a pair of laces to see what I mean. It takes forever to tear through. It’s as if there’s some magic powers embodied within the laces.



 How long have you been skateboarding for? About 7 years give or take.

 
 What first got you into it?My cousin JC and some dude in high school that I used to watch skate.
 

 Who did you look up to when you were first getting started?

Some local skateboarder they called “Q” that dude was so tech and was ollieing like 7 boards back in the day it was amazing to watch when I was younger.
 

 

 

What kinds of trouble do you and your buddies get into while skating? Have you ever been arrested before? Aww man hell yea. The Struggle guys and I have been through a lot. We are always running from the cops. Also way back in the day I remember getting tackled by an officer because we were running from him in a spot. Guess the guy thought we stole something. They ended up taking me and three other guys to jail; we sat in there the whole day until my friends mom bailed us out. They put us in one of those rooms where you can’t see through the mirror but they can see you, it was a trip. They put us in handcuffs and everything, threw us in the cop car.


 
 What’s your favorite skatespot? Aww man, the black box park is buttery, I like skating downtown and the manual pads at Torrey pines. I still haven’t found a spot that I truly love though or I could consider my favorite because I really am into skating new stuff all the time. I get tired of spots fast I guess. 

 
 What is it that you love most about skateboarding? The feeling you get cruising the streets. And how it takes your mind off of everything else shi*tty going on in the world.

 
 You told me before that your sort skipping from place to place right now and living out of your car sometimes. How’s that going for you, found a permanent place to stay yet? Yea actually I am back in my hometown right now been here for a little while now about a week or two id say. Things were hectic the last 4 months of my life though. Pretty much you could say I lived out of my car and at fast food for 120 days. Or cup of noodle if I got lucky and found a microwave. It was harsh I also got in two huge car wrecks during all this man I went through so much crap. My car caught on fire and I had to jump out the window when I was involved in an insane car wreck while driving on the 5 coming from . I had no car after that and resorted to public transportation in order to get to and from my job. Which meant major couch crashing and an even unhealthier diet? But you know what I learned more and got a real taste of the street life through those tough times man. And I had my skateboard the whole way through.

 If you’d never pick up a skateboard, what would you be doing today? Dude I would be up to no good. Maybe I wouldn’t even be alive. I thank god for skateboarding. Because of skateboarding I kept my head straight, I even met my girlfriend through it. Through all my hard times it kept me alright. It kept me sane in an insane world. I can thank it for so much good in my life. It has taken me a lot of places and I never want to put it down. Skate for life man. SKATE FOR LIFE.

 

 

To view video of Ruben check out his team page on www.StruggleSkateboards.com





Published On: 2/27/2007
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  ~Don't~

Don't walk too close,

Don't breath so soft,

Don’t talk so sweet.

Don’t sing.

Don’t lay oh so near.

Please don’t let me fall in love with you again.

 

Please let me forget all those sweet smiles,

All of the passion,

All of the peace, the heat, the pain.

All of those blue skies,

Where your words were my freedom.

Please don’t let me fall in love with you again.

 

Too many times, I’ve cared to much,

I’ve stood on the edge,

And saw that you held my hand,

And knowing all to well,

I couldn’t hide from those eyes.

Please don’t let me fall in love with you again.

 
 
 

Mom

 

This is for a special person
Who will always have a special place in my heart
This goes out to mom

Mom
Thanks for being there
I'm happy that you care
And that you love me

Mom
You sacrificed so much
Just so I could be here
You're so strong

Mom
You're a beautiful person
Inside and out
I don't ever want you to change

Yeah, you get on my nerves
It happens
But in the end
I know that my mom is watching over me
Smiling and watching over my every move

Mom
I struggle
And I make mistakes
And that's why you're here
To help me

Mom
I'm crying inside as I write this
The love I have for you is so infinite
I can't put it in words

Mom
I love you from the very bottom of my heart
I swear
As long as I have blood rushing through my veins
And as long as I have oxygen in my body
I will always, even beyond that
I will always love you

And whenever I feel like I wished you were gone
I'll just remember this
But mom,
Just know that I love you, mom
I love you

By :Shelby Ladd

2-7-07

I love u mommi
 
 
 

Hearts Of Pain & Wonder

Everyday,around the world,
People fall in love.
People break down walls that took so long to build.
Only to let someone in that will soon cause you to
build some more.
 
Everyday,in every home,
Families have problems.
Problem that lead to life long issues.
Issues that make you wonder who really loves you
 
In my heart,in my soul,
Your love is bright & it fills my whole world with happiness.
Happiness I never thought i could get back.
Because some one broke down my walls.

In my book,in my room,
I write about him,the wall-breaking,life-crusher.
But he's not all I think about,write about dream
about.
My dreams are full of you,your smile,your kisses.

In the morning,when I awake,
And realize it was nothing but a dream,
It makes me see that all i want is to go back to
sleep,
And live with you in my dreams,forever.

Shelby Dawn Ladd

Copyright ©2007 Shelby Dawn Ladd

 
Every Where
 Looking around the room,
I see you.
Everytime i sleep,
I see you.
 
Thinking of us,
How we used to be.
Missing your love,
It's still you I need.
 
Just come back,
Forget what I said,
Im sorry and I miss us.
Without you, I'm dead!
 
All the sweet talks,
The long love letters.
Many hugs and kisses,
That made my day better.
 
I can't believe I did it.
I regeret it everyday.
I've broken my own heart.
Now theres nothing to say.
 
But now I'm telling you,
That I miss you so.
I want you back so badly.
Why did you have to go??
 
Lost in sadness,pain,& wonder,
Searching for my heart.
I'm not getting you back,
I should've known from the start.
 
You're im my dreams,
You're in my heart.
You're every where to me...
Except in my life,where you need to be.
 
 
 
 *For Good*

 I’ve heard it’s said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn; and we are led to those who help us to grow if we let them & we help them in return. Well I don’t know if I believe that’s true but I know I am who I am today because I knew you. Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun. Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood. Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better but because I knew you, I was changed for good. It well may be that we’ll never meet again in this lifetime so, let me say before we part so much of me is made of what I learned from you. You’ll be with me like a handprint on my heart, and now what ever way our stories end, I know you’ve re-written mine by being my friend. Like a ship blown from it’s mooring, by a wind off the sea. Like a seed dropped by a sky bird in a distant wood. Who can say I’ve been changed for the better but because I knew you, because I knew you, I've been changed for good. And just to clear the air, I ask forgiveness for the things I've done and blamed you for, but then again I guess we know there’s blame to share, and none of it seems to matter anymore. Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun. Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood. Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better, I do believe I've changed for the better and because I knew you, because I knew you, I've been changed for good.

 2:Danielle JoAnna Higgason
love:Shelby Dawn Ladd
 
 
 
 

Godsend

From the moment we met, I knew you were the one.

But I realized our friendship had only begun.

I could never tell what was really in my heart.

But you came along and tore that wall apart.

I feel you are more than just my best friend.

I feel in my heart, you are my godsend!

I never believed that this could happen to me,

But I guess I now know how I want my life to be!

I may never show it, just so you know,

I love you more than ever, I’d never let you go!

From the beginning, you had had my heart and mind.

And hopefully now, our two hearts combined!!



Published On: 2/12/2007
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hey homeys,
welcome back, its about time i threw down a fresh blogger! so lately ive been trying to skate all over the place. its somewhat of a struggle to find good places to skate when its raining and snowing all around you but ive been hitting up a little indoor ramp in van, aswell as creekside underground and of course....johnson's garage miniramp! clearly dope!!! ive also been shredding a few times and it is sooo amazing up whis/black right now! its definitely the best early season riding ive ever hit up here. either then that ive just been working and shooting snaps all over the joint, keep a lookout for some of my work right here on skatevilly.com aswell as (cross my fingers) a little something for nomis design fall 07! check out some of my photos and holler back cause i wanna know wat you think...
God Bless



Published On: 11/27/2006
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Each day has been a fighting battle.. From the physical therapy appointments, to dealing with the struggles of high school.
I thought things had been tough to deal with the last couple of years, back when i was struggling with depression, when my grandmother died, or always being stuck on the outside in every situation left looking in.
But i was so completely wrong.
Never say something is impossible, good or bad, everything IS possible. Expecially when it takes you by suprise.
I realize now for multiple years i have taken everything for granted.
August 11th, 2006, i had my fourwheeler accident, which i never thought would happen to me. Walking away with no broken bones miraculasly. Instead, im left dealing with a head, neck, back, and shoulder injury -- elevated ribs, nerve damage in my right arm/shoulder, and some memory loss.
I have all of my doctors and therapists lost, they dont know whats wrong, so they cant really help.
From therapy today, im left with severe pain in my collar bone and shoulder, but because of the damaged nerves, i cant move my right arm. It feels dead to me........ I just want to get better, im willing to do whatever it takes. I know im going to be in pain, but its getting so OLD...
Almost a lil over 3 months ... And im no better than i was when it happened..
 
I need rest, and typing one handed just IS NOT my thing.
 
 
- Kylie -


Published On: 11/9/2006
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Thoughts of.. Katherine! <3: Realization
By: eH_dc


So.. I got back from my trip not too long ago; Friday I think. On my trip I had a lot of time to think.. likee, I guess I realized before I left that I was heading down the wrong path, the path of deception. I was trying to decieve people by lying to them to get my way. I realized it had to stop, so I looked at my life and the situation I was in and understood that right now I'm at a fork in the road, and I can take this new path.. or continue down the same path. I picked the other route. I know now, that I need to be honest with people and not just tell them what they want to hear. I told myself I was going to change who I've become. I've been doing a pretty good job lately, compared to how shi*t was before I left.
What I didn't realize though... was that was only half of what I would learn out of all of this. I made a mistake yesterday. and hurt someone ever so dear to me.. I didn't realize what I was doing until it was too late and I SCREWED UP. I'm admitting it.. I feel so guilty just thinking about how I could do that, knowing what I was doing. It just... really got to me. I had alot of conversations with people in the past 24hours and I realized yet another thing I need to change. I guess I overestimate alot of people.. and thats not right; I have to get my priorities straight. I need to determine whom I need to really be paying attention to, and who is just looking for my attention for kicks. Who matters, who doesnt..
I didn't sleep last night. I was talking to my best friend and it was the best ever.. it meant soo much to me. Layed on my grass in the backyard listening to music, then at 5:30am went to the park and sat on the hill watching the sunrise...(beautiful..like just breathtaking) and.. sittin there, watching the sunrise took me away from reality, i thought about soo much.. I tried looking at my life from an outside perspective and realized how truly lucky I am.. to have all the great people I have involved in my life. I have so many good friends and my family who I would risk my life for, and who would do the same for me in a heart beat. Alot of things I take for granted.. Seeing the sunrise also made me see the dawning of a brand new day.. a day so special... like, you may think I'm going crazy or something but really, what would we do without today... seeing that sunrise, seeing the beginning of a new day with new oppertunities, another day to another chance to prove my love to everyone I love, another chance to have the honor to feel the love of all my friends and my family--the people who made me the person I am today. Another chance to fix past mistakes and prepare for our future. What if we never got another chance? ..just think. without today, how it would be.. if we ended on that bad note with that one person, all the regrets we would have by only thinking about ourselves but then not having the chance to later explain yourself better and make things okay again.. every day is a gift. and one day; it could end... you may not be able to recieve this amazing gift. So be thankful... for everything you have..even if it isnt alot, especially when you wake up in a brand new day.. thankful for another chance. Your past is your past.. you can't fix it, change it, alter it.. nothing. ..its there; forever, it will never change and you will always be haunted by memories of it. But you can't live in it.. moving on and accepting things is the only cure.. you never know what the future holds.. but you sure play a huge part in it. But the amazing thing.. is that you CAN change the present. There are alot of reasons to feel sad in any given day.. but on the bright side, there are also soo many reasons to feel happy. Somebody out there cares.. no matter how alone you feel. Always. You only get one shot at this game called life.. and your allowed to make mistakes. alot of mistakes, barely any, it doesnt matter... humans make mistakes continuously and there is no limit.. we're only human. And there is no such thing as perfect. Everybody deserves a second chance. I hope this makes sense.. I stayed up all night thinking about all of this, I’m so overcome by emotions and feelings and thoughts that I really don’t know what I’m thinking but I’m trying. I’m willing to change myself for the better will of the people around me. It wont only help them, but also myself. Anyone who reads this.. I want to say I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt you in any way.. by an unkind word, a look, the way I said something to you. Nobody deserves to be treated bad, but yet it happens. All the time. And I won’t follow the trend. I am truly sorry. Especially the people I hold so dear to my heart.. I know you are the ones I’ve hurt the most.. I love you guys, and I’ll take advantage of every new chance I get to prove it to you. Please forgive me; and I promise it will never happen again. <3we sleep we eat we drink and all for what? to live. but what is life if your not happy, if nothing you do can make yourself happy? you need to find a happiness in your own heart.. not in other things..and well that is life i guess, its one big struggle and a sadistic game that somebody is playing with us as peices. but we have options.. i guess i want to leave you with a thought; that.. what if there is more to life than getting up, eating, going out, comming home and reapeating it again and again. life is the sole existance of people and it therefore should be lived to its fullest potential by people.. so do that for me, live your life to the fullest with whomever times may be had with. do it to the fullest potential of what you can and enjoy it remember you only live once. Time Goes, Time Flies, But The Memories Of The Past Stay With You For The Rest Of Your Life. we are who we want to be, and we make who we are and who we're with. Remember, everything you do influences somebody.. if you have love you have to fight to keep it..;lovealways,alwayslove <33 Nobody said it would be easy finding your way through another day, but I'll always be here for you guys.. and if I don't make it.. know that I loved you all along.

-Katherine Elizabeth

Love you my big cutie<3 .Sorry.
&&<3KLfreakinK<3 .Sorry.
All My Friends<3 .Sorry.



Comment if you are so inclined.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3



Published On: 8/15/2006
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"Listen 2 Ur Heart"
 
BREAKDOWN (JON YOUNG):
WHEN THANGS SEEM IMPOSSIBLE/
U GOTTA REALIZE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE/

SO/KEEP GRINDIN/LISTEN 2 U HEART/
HOLD YASELF TOGETHER/DONT FALL APART/


VERSE 1 (JON YOUNG):
been in the game 4 years/good times & plenty tears/
i done seen it all/pure hate/to standin cheers/

yea its a long road/anything worth sumthin iz/
thought of quittin/ yea i have/but i aint the type to quit/

im from a region/that was over looked for too long/
so my struggle's that much harder/thank im leavin/boy ya wrong/

i gotta fanbase/and i aint even on a label/
im pushin units/make bread right under the table/

now what that tell ya/tha south aint even close to fihished/
we got talent/and we grind/so this aint eva endin/

so all my potnas in tha O/if u tryna make it/
jus keep grindin/cuz ours for the takin/


VERSE 2 (J CASH):
You gotta listen to your heart if you got some.
Gotta give it all if you really want something.
Ya Cant hold back, gotta go full on.
And if ya fail then that dont make you a fool dogg.

It aint easy, believe me, I know you know me.
I came from nuttin to suttin and I keep growing.
Not just from flowing, but homie from my life too.
Make something of yourself, be a man, get it right dude.

The fast money, the cash money, it sound cool.
But where ya gonna go when you dont finish high school?
Now I aint trying say dont get your hustle on.
If you do, thats cool, but its a struggle dogg.

So make the smart choices, try to do what seems best.
This a test so live for you homie bump the rest.
Look out for number one, and when its hard to smile.
Remember all along the fight is always worth the while.



Published On: 8/4/2006
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In the never-ending circle where
The powerless meet
There grows a struggle from the burden
Of sustaining defeat
In the face of every coward lies the
Blindest of hate
And in the eyes a sharpened image of
The damage they made
You look at me to bear the burden of the suffering past
It wasn't me behind the veil
Of a heartless mask
And where were you the day that everybody
Cursed your name?
You were the distant voice of pride
That never stood the shame.
 
The weak of the mind will use fist
And the fist of the frail will bring gun
The loudest of guns provoke bombs
And in wrath he will chase until it's done.
 
ChORUS:
Your history is dead.
Dead wrong.
Dead-dead wrong
Philosophyy is dead.
Dead wrong.
Dead - dead wrong.
 
Within the mind of modern cuture
There's an idle cog
It is the section of humanity that never forgot
And in the midst of moving forward we have given the right
To let the wolves attack the sheep and bury guilt inside
I wont forget the twisted picture of filth that we were
Or disregard the fading voices of the people we hurt
But I was never pulling triggers or degrading your face.
Don't look at me to give the reason for the pain that you trace.
 
(CHORUS)
 
The scars outlive the pain,
Reflections will remain.
The scars outlive the pain.
Your sickness will remain
 
Dead - dead wrong.


Published On: 8/3/2006
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She came back to visit, she says
"Cause in some ways, Minneapolis is more real than L.A."
But I won't go to the triple-rock on a tuesday
Too many people pop out of they pimples and play

And at night, we can watch these people in these bars
They're all insane, they all know my name
Who won the game? no one's in pain
But either way girl, i'm glad you came
And if the elements and irrelevance I strain
Hair's wet, who cares if it's sweat or rain
As long as it doesn't leave a permanent stain
It's all in vain if there's nothing left to gain

And somethin's in the way she looks at her prey
There's no way she'll allow you to live
Swallow the fight, inhale the night
There's not much else left for you to give
Who's leaving ? there she goes
as opposed to who's bleeding
Carress the rooftop and stare at the space
For the flesh that you gave just to get a taste
It goes... nothing comes close
Scream of the smile and choke boy choke
Passion come death, and death bring power
At the top of the hour we sing for the monster

And here she goes, with that look in her eyes
The souls of those that got took by surprise
Crooked little smile that clings to her lips
On a night like this I sing for the bitch
 
Just a lonely summer
Slowly dying
I was smiling hard
But I was lying



So what's the time? it's almost time for her to go to work
The sun is shining but I'm the shadow of my smirk
I keep my breathin under my breath
Tucked within the untrimmed bushes next to her front steps
And when she leaves to make treck towards the bus stop
My love erupts (POPS) a thousand tiny blood clots
Damn I wish that she was mine but time and time over the discretion
On my right shoulder whispers to my ear
Advising me to admire from way over here, play the rear
And struggle for the view to clear
 

It's been 2 years and quite a few beers
Too many loose tears and a few souveniers
And if she only knew, how long I've waited for her
How her smiles enough to make my winter warmer
If she knew the way she walks could take away my storm
She'd probably call the cops and get a restraining order

As much as I hate myself, I hate you more
But I still smile when you come through that door
And as much as I hate my life, I hate yours too
Just can't seem to teach myself to ignore you.



Published On: 7/31/2006
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Only through struggle have I found rest.
With a peice of me taken away,
I begin to understand.
 
Hollow out this machine like chest.
With it's gears that turn to make me feel
And assembled thoughts that fade away.
Remove from me this deception I called love.


Published On: 7/18/2006
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“In politics, an organized minority is a political majority." 
                                                                     - JESSE JACKSON


GSD group 1.jpg 


GO SKATEBOARDING DAY 2006

PHOTOS BY SHON CHEN



Skateboarding in most places in the world has been booming like crazy for perhaps the longest stretch in skateboarding’s 60 year-old experience. Those of you who started skating post 1990 may think this is going to last forever and that we are invincible. But for those of us older dogs, we wonder when the next “death” will occur, since, if there is one, it’s long over due. Skateboarding has died four times and each time at the end of what people would call a “golden age".

GSD group 2.jpg
    

 

    

The International Association of Skateboard Companies (the IASC) doesn’t want to see us struggle through yet another great skate-industry famine, and so in an attempt to ward off the effects of “faddism” and stop skateboarding from ever weaving in and out of popularity again, the IASC chose June 21st, (a day kids usually get out of school for the summer holidays) to simply be that of “Go Skateboarding Day”.

GSD team 1.jpg

 

 

GSD was designed to bring us all together for the sake of skateboarding itself and nothing but, and since the first one 3 three years ago, things have gone as planned. Each year, and increased number of skaters catch wind of this day and each time they are either consciously or unconsciously reminded that skateboarding is not a fad and that skaters will be hitting the streets for as long as there are years on this earth. For the full 24 hour period dubbed in their honor, skaters use this day to let it all hang out and concern them selves only with skateboarding.


GSD team 2.jpg


Upon closer inspection you might even go as far as to say we’re witnessing the steady raise of skateboarding’s Independence Day. After all, together we are a nation, a leaderless, borderless, underdog kind of nation. We are an international nation whose citizens are found in almost any country that isn’t completely dirt or ice-covered.
 
 
GSD pond3.jpg

 

I’m not sure any of the Taiwanese skaters knew on June 21st, 2004 that it was in fact “Go Skateboarding Day”. I myself was clueless to it then and must have completely missed it. Then GSD 2005 came but it was still more of a rumor around here than it was a holiday. Ahhh… but not this year… this year we were ready and waiting.

 

Here in Taiwan, Go Skateboarding Day was a timely gift and has come in very handy indeed. With no solid history to tell them otherwise, skates here have had trouble deciphering just what skateboarding in the western world is all about, and since I arrived in Taiwan 5 or 6 years ago, the Taiwanese participation in skateboarding seemed as though it was ultimately headed steadily downward - not steadily upward like I had expected. Due to an absence of translated magazines and subtitled DVDs, Taiwan has for years been plagued with fashion junkies and overly competitive attitudes both inside and outside their ranks. This has of course helped give rise to a rash of clique-ish attitudes and… the Asian X-Games in full force.

 

GSD pond A-Shang.jpg
 

 

”No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” - ALICE WALKER

Last year’s Go Skateboarding Day was a day when myself and a couple of local skaters decided it was finally time to start the much needed Taiwanese Skateboarders Association. Since then we’ve gone through the motions, had countless meetings with countless skaters focusing on whatever we see holding us down and voting on what should be done to send us in a more natural direction, and in the direction of fun.

 

GSD pond2.jpg

 

Myself and a handful of friends are now up to our necks in various projects related to the survival of grass roots skateboarding in Taiwan. I won’t go into detail as to exactly the state or status of Taiwan’s skate scene (for that you’ll have to read my article in an upcoming issue of THAT magazine this summer about “the Scene” and the TSA) but I will tell you that skateboarding sprung up merely 12 years ago and since then has been in dire need for a skater-run organization like the TSA and “Go Skateboarding Day” was a big help in having it finally take off.


This year, Taiwanese skaters knew full-well what day it was, and it showed. Skaters from all over the city zeroed-in on one of our many common meeting spots and fun quickly ensued. A classic game of S.K.A.T.E., an improvised skate-relay race and scooter-pull session to name but a few activities, both planned and unplanned. One of these kids even made a banner, most likely in a mad hurry and under the heavy influence of something awful, was quite possibly the ugliest banner known to man. It was supposed to read Go Skateboarding Day 2006 but to anyone brave enough to stare at it, looked like the abstract art you often see some artists throw together to shock the world. You know, the art that uses rat’s blood as paint, that kind of art. Apparently next year’s banner is going to be much better. They’re thinking about cat’s blood next time…

 …I can’t bloody well wait.

 

 

GSD ugly sign.jpg

 

    

GSD hang2.jpg
 

GSD SKATE2.jpg


GSD hang3.jpg
 

After a while the spot got old and the entire mob (a mob so big it warranted police escort) thundered across our poor unsuspecting town to the next spot, then the next…and the next, all the while holding our hideous banner high, and with great pride.

 

 

I don’t think any of us stopped smiling the entire day.

    

GSD A duh fs kick.jpg
 

 

    

GSD Jackie kf on bricks.jpg

 

 

GSD shon bricks.jpg


GSD bricks1.jpg


GSD A duh bs smith.jpg


At the close of the evening, lay a nation destroyed. Yet at the same time, another nation, our nation, had just finished remodeling.

 


Shons 50 50.jpg
 

The best part about this whole thing is that this happens each and every year and every year were are a year older, a year wiser, and always comparing these GSDs to the previous year’ GSDs and naturally trying to outdo them.

 

Till next time boys and girls… the fate of skateboarding (and of the entire world it seems these days) rests with you!

 

GSD ashang ollie.jpg

 


“The heights by great men reached and kept

Were not attained by sudden flight,

But they, while their companions slept,

Were toiling upward in the night.”
- HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW





Published On: 6/28/2006
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"When I Get Where I'm Going"
When I get where I'm going On the far side of the sky The first thing that I'm gonna do Is spread my wings and fly I'm gonna land beside a lion And run my fingers through his mane Or I might find out what it's like To ride a drop of rain [Chorus] Yeah when I get where I'm going There'll be only happy tears I will shed the sins and struggles I have carried all these years And I'll leave my heart wide open I will love and have no fear Yeah when I get where I'm going Don't cry for me down here I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy And he'll match me step for step And I'll tell him how I missed him Every minute since he left Then I'll hug his neck So much pain and so much darkness In this world we stumble through All these questions I can't answer So much work to do But when I get where I'm going And I see my maker's face I'll stand forever in the light Of his amazing grace Yeah when I get where I'm going There'll be only happy tears Hallelujah I will love and have no fear When I get where I'm going Yeah when I get where I'm going.
 
This song is for my 6 yearold cousin Leonard!!!!
We love you and miss you Leonard!!!!!! March 11,2006 



Published On: 6/4/2006
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You are appreciated

[Verse One: 2Pac]

When I was young me and my mama had beef
Seventeen years old kicked out on the streets
Though back at the time, I never thought I'd see her face
Ain't a woman alive that could take my mama's place
Suspended from school; and scared to go home, I was a fool
with the big boys, breakin all the rules
I shed tears with my baby sister
Over the years we was poorer than the other little kids
And even though we had different daddy's, the same drama
When things went wrong we'd blame mama
I reminice on the stress I caused, it was hell
Huggin on my mama from a jail cell
And who'd think in elementary?
Heeey! I see the penitentiary, one day
And runnin from the police, that's right
Mama catch me, put a whoopin to my backside
And even as a crack fiend, mama
You always was a black queen, mama
I finally understand
for a woman it ain't easy tryin to raise a man
You always was committed
A poor single mother on welfare, tell me how ya did it
There's no way I can pay you back
But the plan is to show you that I understand
You are appreciated

[Chorus: Reggie Green & "Sweet Franklin" w/ 2Pac]

Lady...
Don't cha know we love ya? Sweet lady
Dear mama
Place no one above ya, sweet lady
You are appreciated
Don't cha know we love ya?

[second and third chorus, "And dear mama" instead of "Dear mama"]

[Verse Two: 2Pac]

Now ain't nobody tell us it was fair
No love from my daddy cause the coward wasn't there
He passed away and I didn't cry, cause my anger
wouldn't let me feel for a stranger
They say I'm wrong and I'm heartless, but all along
I was lookin for a father he was gone
I hung around with the Thugs, and even though they sold drugs
They showed a young brother love
I moved out and started really hangin
I needed money of my own so I started slangin
I ain't guilty cause, even though I sell rocks
It feels good puttin money in your mailbox
I love payin rent when the rent's due
I hope ya got the diamond necklace that I sent to you
Cause when I was low you was there for me
And never left me alone because you cared for me
And I could see you comin home after work late
You're in the kitchen tryin to fix us a hot plate
Ya just workin with the scraps you was given
And mama made miracles every Thanksgivin
But now the road got rough, you're alone
You're tryin to raise two bad kids on your own
And there's no way I can pay you back
But my plan is to show you that I understand
You are appreciated

[Chorus]

[Verse Three: 2Pac]

Pour out some liquor and I reminsce, cause through the drama
I can always depend on my mama
And when it seems that I'm hopeless
You say the words that can get me back in focus
When I was sick as a little kid
To keep me happy there's no limit to the things you did
And all my childhood memories
Are full of all the sweet things you did for me
And even though I act craaazy
I gotta thank the Lord that you made me
There are no words that can express how I feel
You never kept a secret, always stayed real
And I appreciate, how you raised me
And all the extra love that you gave me
I wish I could take the pain away
If you can make it through the night there's a brighter day
Everything will be alright if ya hold on
It's a struggle everyday, gotta roll on
And there's no way I can pay you back
But my plan is to show you that I understand
You are appreciated

[Chorus]

Sweet lady
And dear mama

Dear mama
Lady [3X]



Published On: 5/12/2006
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