Some people hate taking Calgary Transit...I'm not one of those people. Examples? Well, alright, you talked me into it:

Drunk dude: "*pulls long blonde hair off his jacket* Ewwww, a wife hair!"

Some fourteen-year-old dude: "So, which of us looks older?"
Me: "Um, your friend?"
Dude: "What! But I have a mustache! *points to a hair on lip, which closely resembles an eyelash and has tape holding it to his face*"

Gothic chick: "Okay, so like, we can have a party, and serve potatoes sliced up, you know, and cooked in the oven...and we have to have bobbing for beer. But not cans, 'cause who can get their mouth over a can?! They'll be bottles!"
Dude: *blinks*
Gothic chick: ...*sings incoherently*

Old man: "Hello young lady"
Me: "Hi, how are you?"
Old man: *sticks finger in ear and smells it*
Me: *blinks, then gets up and moves*
Hot guy: "What's wrong?"
Me: "That old dude was picking his orifices"
Hot guy: "That's gross...hey, I'm going to meet someone downtown. In the dark. In fact, it's an alley where people buy laced pot. Want to come?"
Me: *blinks, then gets up and moves*

Bum: *stares at me without blinking for 20 minutes straight*
Me: *pretends to not notice*
Bum: *gestures to the empty seats around him and smiles a toothless, hairy grin*
Me: *pretends to not notice*
Bum: "Excuse me miss, but I was wondering if I could take you out sometime?"
Me: *gets a whiff of BO and chokes* "Um, no thank you"
Bum: "No? Oh...okay"

Today the bus took a sharp turn and my face went into someone's ass. Which is the ultimate example of why transit is just an absolute BLAST.

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Published by cementbetty: 2:00 AM
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