I cant see crystal because my f*ckING MOM was at her friends talking the whole time.. so i looked at the time she was done talking...and it was 5:20..im 20 minutess late...crystal is once again waiting for me cause of my damn parents... so i was a lil steamed..my moms like dont disrespect me and im like NO... You said you were going there to estimate a room..Not chat for an hour and 30 min about how much you f*cking love your horse...she gets mad and says fine.. Right when i pulled up into the driveway she said OOo so you wanna go somewher now huh... i said yeah i was going to be there at 5...and she was like well your not going.. and i said you know what.. f*ck you!!! then i gave her the keys and said here you can have them..there yours..and walked away..she gets mad cause im her driver...she cant drive right now cause it would be against the law ,cause she got a hit and run, and a DUI...so her lisnce was susspended..So i walk into the house and shes yelling at me for random shi*t..so i say..ohh yeah..if you drive the car..ill call the cops on you....so i went upstairs...she was mad because i acutally won the verbal fight..so she said she was gonna call the police..i said fine!! and i freaked out cause shes just looking for ways to make my life more missrible... so i freaked.. I said CALL THE f*ckING PIGS!! HURRY UP!! DO IT NOW! I CANT f*ckING WAIT!!!! Then i broke the closet door...and said look im destroying propoerty!! Hurry call them..you acutally have something to tell them this time!! and she said im am and took the phone inside her room..so i walked away.. i guese you could say im waiting for the cops to come and get me now.....
And now to explain what ive been feeling for the past 3 days... Im stuck in a corner.. I feel since my GF has her cousins she dosent need me anymore... im just a piece of drift wood... I mean im not trying to say that if shes not with me for one second then ill thnik that..im just saying from the way she says things..or the way she wont say things..... Well an example would be how she would never just wear only black for me..lol id ask and she say no..im gueseing cause it would be a punk/goth stament..and she dosent like the punk part in me...but all of a sudden when alex comes she wore black..from her stament "me and alex just thought we'd wear black"... i dont understand.. what is it gonna be like when kyle comes? ....BTW.. i dont really plan on fighting kyle... He's cool, i have no prob with him.. i guese you could say im confused.. Not confused of myself..confused of how she feels about me.. I know i love crystal...i want to be with her for the rest of my life.. but really dont think she feels the same... thats what scares me...hurts me...confuses me...and when i talked to her today i told her i missed her..and she says "sure"..like i dont.. i dont think She knows how much i love her..She is my universe..i dont know what i'd do without her......and im not saying i dont want her to hang with her cousins..i like her cousins there cool..i..just miss her.. And yeah ill let the whole world f*cking know it!! im crying right now.. Im stuck in a corner..and i want to attack..but theres nothing to attack.... so here i am.. waiting... for one of three things... #1. The cops come and pick me up..i go to DT for an extended amount of time.... #2. I get sent to california until i turn 18... #3. Maybe some miricle.. I get to stay here..and dont have to go to DT....but right now those chances dont look to good.. So right now..im despertly waiting for my mom to get off the GODDAMNED PHONE so i can call her and let her know... /sigh..
