My Default Blog
Thursday, November 01, 2007
"Bring Me To Life"
how can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where I’ve become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become
now that I know what I’m without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become
Bring me to life
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)
Bring me to life
frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead
all this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought without a voice without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become
(Bring me to life)
I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside
(Bring me to life)
"Far Away"
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know
I love you
I've loved you all along
I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of Hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up
'Cause you know, you know, you know
That I love you
I loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'd never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
So far away
So far away
Far away for far too long
So far away
So far away
Far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
I love you
I loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me,and never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me, never let me go
"Never Too Late"
This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late
Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it
And I have left alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like
It's not too late
It's never too late
Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
The world we knew
Won't come back
The time we've lost
Can't get back
The life we had
Won't be ours again
This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late (It's never too late)
It's not too late
It's never too late
"Over You"
Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
Hey Everyone I am sorry if I am in a depressed and bad mood but if you was having the day I been having you would be the same way if you don't get to talk to the person you really want to talk to so bad and if you just find out your great aunt died a few days ago and your cousin won't talk to you for a reason you don't know and one of your sisters isn't helping you out at all and she is just making it worser!Well going to go bye:cry!~Jessica~
Mood:depressed,in a bad mood
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is
[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
This song is how I feel most of the time and right now so yeah!
Hey Everyone just wanted to tell ya'll if ya'll are mad at me please tell me and not just blow me or my messages,or comments please because I don't like it at all!!!!!Thank you,~Jessica~
Hey Everyone please pray and keep him in your prayers please he is one of my best friends and I love him so much and can't lose him but he is in the Hospital  so please keep my friend Chris (THEDEVILSSON)in your prayers please I love ya all!!!!!!Thank you~Jessica~aka~Tia~
Would any of ya'll care if I died to night or ran away or anything like that if so tell me by a message on here or call me if you have my number because I really don't think anyone would care at all!!!
"My World"
Since we first started talking
I knowed I would fall for you
but I didn't think you would
like me as much as I did you
and now since we are dating
each other I just want you to
know you are my world and I
love you with all my heart, I
always will.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
"Love"
I didn't know what love
was really about until
I found you and falled
total in love with you
and I hope we are together
until we both die and the world
ends I hope this shows you how
much I love you & how much you mean
to me because you are like my world.
I LOVE MY BABY BOY SO DONT ASK ME IF I'M SINGLE BECAUSE I'M NOT OKAY I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART AND I ALWAYS WILL MY HEART BELONGS TO HIM OKAY.BUT YOU CAN BE MY FRIEND AND IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME I HAVE YAHOO(SCREEN NAME IS partgirl7758),MSN ( partygirl7758@hotmail.com), MYSPACE ( partygirl7758@hotmail.com) JUST TELL ME WHO YOU ARE,AGE,MALE OR FEMALE,NAME,STATE.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
The Guy Of My Dreams...
The guy of my dreams....Everyone told me that there is no one perfect but I
don't know if that isn't true because I think I found the perfect guy but I think I kinda messed up that life big time but I hope I didn't because I really love,loved & cared about him alot and that will never change but if me and him did break up I don't know what I am going to do without him in my life but I know I would be really lost without him in my life because when he got sent off inthe Summer I cryed everytime I heard that he played everytime we talked before that happened but now that he isn't talking to me right now I start crying on that song again everytime I hear it....I love him so much that if I ever lost him for good I would probably go crazy without him here with me.But after a while we started dating each other he wrote in his journal on gaia and it was called "The Girl Of My Dreams" and I know it was about me because I was theone he talked to that night but here is what it said The girl of my Dreams.....they sayperfect people don't exist,but that's not trure I'm in love with one.She's perfect I'd do anything for her.Sometimes I feel a certain way around her and when we talk there's a spark in my heart that ignights itself and my heart beats alittle faster I start to get nervous and she haves the voice of an angel.Every time we talk its like nothing in the world could make me feel sorrow because she's always there to cheer me up an example is least night I found out the worst news in the world.......my brother died all I could do is want to cry but she made me laugh like nothing never happened.Well I don't know what else to say about her right now but that I love her.But I knowed he wrote that about me but I know I'm not perfect like he though because I think I kinda broke his heart but if I did I didn't mean too do it I just wanted to know if he still loved and cared about me the same way or not but I so want to be in his life and I want him to always be in my life with me not no one else because I love him so much more than words can say but I really thought if he loved me like he said he did he would still be here with me instand of breaking up with me just because I was having a bad day and just because I couldn't take it no more at all and I just wanted to break my own heart the only way I knowed how too by mine,his relationship but I thought he would let me tell him why I did it but I guess he didn't care why I did it for.(you should know if I am talking about you if you really read it and remember that you wrote that on same beside here)(if you read this again I want you to know your a butthole that can go away for good).
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Hey Everyone I am deleting this screen name and use my name one I made its Lost_BrokenSoul16 so please add me if you want to still talk to me because I'm deleting this one soon.~Jessica~aka~Tia~
"HAVE YOU EVER?"
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right?
Have you ever?
Have you ever?
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything
To make them understand?
Have you ever had someone
Steal your heart away?
You'd give anything
To make them feel the same?
Have you ever searched for words
To get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start?
Have you ever?
Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life?
You'd do just about anything
To look into their eyes?
Have you fin'ly found the one
You've given your heart to
Only to find that one
Won't give their heart to you?
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait
For that day when they will care?
Have you ever?
What do I gotta do to get you in my arms, baby?
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand
How I need you next to me?
Gotta get you in my world
'Cause, baby, I can't sleep
Have you ever?
Have you ever?
Have you ever?
__________________________________________________________________________
"The Reason"
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is You [x4]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I've found out a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
________________________________________
"You'll Think Of Me"
I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me
I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah
And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday
__________________________________________
"I SWEAR "
I see the questions in your eyes
I know what's weighing on your mind
You can be sure I know my part
Cuz I stand beside you through the years
You'll only cry those happy tears
And though I'll make mistakes
I'll never break your heart
I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky
I'll be there
I swear like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there
For better or worse, till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
And I swear
I'll give you every thing I can
I'll build your dreams with these two hands
We'll hang some memories on the wall
And when there's silver in your hair
Won't have to ask if I still care
'Cause as time turns the page,
My love won't age at all
And I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky
I'll be there
I swear like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there
For better or worse, till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
I swear
And I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky
I'll be there
I swear like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there
For better or worse, till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
I swear
_________________________________________
"This I Swear"
You're there by my side
In every way
I know that you would not forsake me
I give you my life
Would not think twice
Your love is all I need believe me
I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear
I'm wondering how I ever got by
Without you in my life to guide me
Where ever I go the one thing that's true
Is everything I do I do for you
I may not say it half as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear
So whenever you get weary
Just reach out for me
I'll never let you down my love
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
Ohh we'll get there
This I swear
___________________________________________
"How Do You Get That Lonely"
It was just another story written on the second page
Underneath the Tiger's football score
It said he was only eighteen, a boy about my age
They found him face down on his bedroom floor
There'll be services on Friday at the Lawrence Funeral Home
Then out on Mooresville highway, they'll lay him 'neath a stone...
How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely... and nobody know
Did his girlfriend break up with him, did he buy or steal that gun?
Did he lose a fight with drugs or alcohol?
Did his Mom and Daddy forget to say I love you son?
Did no one see the writing on the wall?
I'm not blamin' anybody, we all do the best we can
I know hindsight's 20/20, but I still don't understand...
How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely... and nobody know
It was just another story printed on the second page
Underneath the Tiger's football score...
"Perfect World"
I never could've seen this far
I never could've seen this coming
It seems like my world's falling apart, yeah
Why is everything so hard?
I don't think I can deal with the things you said
It just won't go away
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all
I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through, yeah
I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I could turn back time
Cause I can't let go
I just can't find my way, yeah
Without you I just can't find my way
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all
I don't know what I should do now
I don't know where I should go
I'm still here waiting for you
I'm lost when you're not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can't let you go
yeah, yeah
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all
You feel nothing, nothing at all
Nothing at all
__________________________________________________________________________
"Perfect"
Hey Dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according
To plan?
And do you think I'm wasting
My time doing things I
Wanna do?
But it hurts when you
Disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just wanna make you proud
I'm never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back now
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be
My hero?
All the days
You spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't
Care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
Nothing's gonna change
The things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this
Right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
"When I Get Where I'm Going"
When I get where I'm going On the far side of the sky The first thing that I'm gonna do Is spread my wings and fly I'm gonna land beside a lion And run my fingers through his mane Or I might find out what it's like To ride a drop of rain [Chorus] Yeah when I get where I'm going There'll be only happy tears I will shed the sins and struggles I have carried all these years And I'll leave my heart wide open I will love and have no fear Yeah when I get where I'm going Don't cry for me down here I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy And he'll match me step for step And I'll tell him how I missed him Every minute since he left Then I'll hug his neck So much pain and so much darkness In this world we stumble through All these questions I can't answer So much work to do But when I get where I'm going And I see my maker's face I'll stand forever in the light Of his amazing grace Yeah when I get where I'm going There'll be only happy tears Hallelujah I will love and have no fear When I get where I'm going Yeah when I get where I'm going.
This song is for my 6 yearold cousin Leonard!!!!
We love you and miss you Leonard!!!!!! March 11,2006
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.I don’t know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you’re reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won’t argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.Well, you’re still reading, and that’s very good. I’d like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you’re at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let’s hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.Start by considering this statement:“Suicide is not chosen; it happenswhen pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.” That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could. Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “that’s not enough to be suicidal about.” There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.Now I want to tell you five things to think about.1 You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope. 2 Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, “I will wait 24 hours before I do anything.” Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it’s just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you. 3 People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead. 4 Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what’s going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S. Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999 Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line Call a psychotherapist Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen But don’t give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance. 5 Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet. Well, it’s been a few minutes and you’re still with me. I’m really glad.Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain. Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won’t be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It’s time to start looking around for one of them.Now: I’d like you to call someone.And while you’re at it, you can still stay with me for a bit. Check out these sources of online help.Additional things to read at this site:How serious is our condition? ...“he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious...” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention... read this.Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).Recovery from grief and loss ...has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company... many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss.The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us... and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings.Resources about depression ...if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better.Do you know someone who is suicidal... or would you like to be able to help, if the situation arises? Learn what to do, so that you can make the situation better, not worse.Handling a call from a suicidal person ...a very helpful ten-point list that you can print out and keep near your phone or computer.What can I do to help someone who may be suicidal? ...a helpful guide, includes Suicide Warning Signs.Other online sources of help: The Samaritans - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help.Talk to a therapist online - Read this page to find out how.Depression support group online: Walkers in Darkness - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter (and occasional bickering), it is possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support.Psych Central has a good listing of online resources for suicide and other mental health needs.Still feel bad? These jokes might relieve the pressure for a minute or two.If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to Choose a Competent Counselor.Sometimes people need additional private help before they are ready to talk with someone in person. Here are three books you could read on your own in private. I know from personal experience that each one has helped someone like you.Suicide: The Forever Decision by Paul G. Quinnett, PhD (Continuum, 1989, $8.95, ISBN 0-8264-0391-3). Frank and helpful conversation with a therapist who cares. Order the bookChoosing to Live: how to defeat suicide through cognitive therapy by Thomas E. Ellis PsyD and Cory F. Newman PhD (New Harbinger Publications, 1996, $12.95, ISBN 1-57224-056-3). Another conversational book with practical help for suicidal persons. Order the bookHow I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention by Susan Rose Blauner (William Morrow, 2002, $17.47, ISBN 0066211212). A very practical survival guide by an actual survivor. Order the book I make no profit whatever on the books. Every penny received is given to The Samaritans to support their lifesaving work. The volunteers give generously of themselves, but it costs them money to continue operating and saving lives - money for facilities, phones and computers. Money is a reality. They need it; we give it. Sending them this small donation is our way of thanking them and helping them continue to help others. If you would like to know where the money goes, visit the Samaritans website. If you prefer not to make a donation to the Samaritans, take the book information above to your local bookstore and order the books there instead. If you would like to make a donation directly to the Samaritans, click here.Out of the Nightmare: Recovery From Depression And Suicidal Pain, by David L. Conroy, PhD (New Liberty Press, 1991, ISBN 1-879204-00-2). Unfortunately out of print; sometimes used copies become available. As if suicidal persons weren't feeling bad enough already, our thoughtless attitudes can cause them to feel guilt and shame, and keep them from getting help in time. Dr. Conroy blasts apart the myths of suicide, and looks at suicidal feelings from the inside, in a down to earth, non-judgmental way. This is a book that will save lives by washing away the stigma of suicide and opening the door to a real way out of the nightmare. More info and reviewsWould you like to print out this page? Here is a plain black-on-white version that should print more easily.
"Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" Do not stand at my grave and weep,I am not there,I do not sleep.I am a thousand winds that blow;I am the diamond glints on the snow.I am the sunlight on ripened grain;I am the gentle autumn's rain.When you awaken in the moring's hush,I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight.I am the soft star that shines at night.Do not stand at my grave and cry.I am not there;I did not die. Leonard Charles L. Born:Saturday,July 31,1999 Passed Away:Saturday,March 11,2006 WE LOVE & MISS YOU LEONARD!!!!!!!
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
If u lost a cousin like I did in a fire you know how me & my family feels we lost my 6yearold cousin Leonard in a fire at his own house and when the firefighters got there they found him burnit really,dead but I hope Leonard knows the his family loves him very much,he is in good hands because he is with my & his great grandma who will never be forgotin enither.
In Loving Memory
Chours:When I think of the times we spent
together,I think of how bad it hurt
to lose you.When you died you took
a part of my heart with you in
loving memory I'm thinking of you
Verse 1:I remember when you would
take me riding with the
wind in my face,there could
never have been a better place
Chours:When I think of the times we spent
together,I think of how bad it hurt
to lose you.When you died you took
a part of my heart with you in
loving memory I'm thinking of you
Verse 2:It broke my heart to lose you
and to let you go because you
were always there to listen to
my prombles when I was
thinking that no one cared
Chours:When I think of the times we spent
together,I think of how bad it hurt
to lose you.When you died you took
a part of my heart with you in
loving memory I'm thinking of you
You were always there
when I needed you,and
thats (just one of the many
reasons why)I Love you
In Loveing Memory of Goldie Lilly,Leonord Lilly,Mark Griffin
"Sorry"
I am sorry that i was born I
am sorry that you had to
put up with me im sorry i
messed up your life but
now i don't have to be
sorry because i am
dead but i still am sorry.
"When I'm Gone"
when i'm gone please
don't cry just remember
i am in a better then i
was and please tell
my sister Crystal,my
bother Noah,my boyfriend
Larry but please tell them
I love them and that i always will.
"Suicide Girl"
I know this girl and she
thinks about suicide all
the time then one day
her friend did suicide
and the girl was wanting
to do it too but no one would
let her but when she went asleep
she was her friend over and over
doing suicide in her dreams then
after a month and 2 days she said
i was the suicide girl but now i am
the dead suicide girl because
of my family & friends.
"Suicide"
When I think about
suicide I think how
it would be with out
friends or family
and how bad it is
to lose a close family
member or a friend
but when suicide
comes to mind
I can't stop thinking
about it but then
I'm in my own
suicide world again.
Can't Stop Thinkin' About You!!
Chorus:
You stay my mind morning and night When I'm not with you I'm always in fright And thats why I can't stop thinkin about you
Verse 1:
I really don't know how to explain what I'm feeling inside but I know it drives me crazy every second of everyday just wishing you by my side, holding me tight, telling me how much you love me and that's why
Verse 2:
I can't stop thinking about you for one second that you are right next to me telling me that you love and care about me alot,that you don't want to leave me but right now you have to and that is why I can't stop thinking about you
I Love Someone Special(Jessica)
I Love Someone Special(Crystal)
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
"WHEN YOU ALWAYS SAID"
You always said you care and love
me but sometimes it seems like
you don't but you said you would always
take care of me but it seems like you
don't even care about me so how could
you take care of me if you don't care about
me.
_______________________________________
"I Will Always Love You!"
I will never forget about you
I will never forget how much fun
we always had and when I am
gone I will still always love you.
_______________________________________
"I Love You"
When you say you love me
then you take it back it
hurts me because I try
to say I love you back.
"When I Think Back"
When I think back when
you were here their was
Never any bad in my life
but sometimes there were
but you told me that it would
be better in Heaven.
_______________________________________
"Untitled"
I open my eyes
I try to see but
every time I try
someone stop me
of seeing and
I don't how or
why but they don't
want me to see
you but I try
my hardest to see
you and you try to
see me but your
family and my family
won't let us see
which other for some
reason.
_______________________________________
"Why"
Why do you always say
you love me if you don't
Why do you care about
me if you don't love
or care about me
Why do you always say
you do if you don't.
_______________________________________
"How To Deal"
How do I deal if
you chose to turn
away from me and
we don't know how
to deal with each
other if we can't
deal with our selfs.
_______________________________________
"Angels"
Angels are God's
helpers and always
will be with you
in the bad and good
times but you will never
know if one is there
with you or not but
there is a angel
always with you
and always will be
if you blieve
in God and Angels.
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