Friday, April 15, 2005

My Roommate is Psycho

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Published by owenisafag: 2:00 AM

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

I like to smash Things
before

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Published by owenisafag: 2:00 AM

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

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Published by owenisafag: 2:00 AM

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

DRIVING RULES
1. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same drivers to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.
2. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Canadian driver never uses them. Use of them in Edmonton may be illegal.
3. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
4. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered "going with the flow."
5. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
6. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. The other driver has nothing to lose.
7. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
8. Construction signs warn you about road closures immediately after you pass the last exit before the backup.
9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable during rush hour.
11. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
12. It is traditional to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.
13. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way, except in Edmonton where it acts as an invitation to duel or play chicken.
14. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.
15. Real Canadian female drivers can put on pantyhose, apply eye makeup and balance the checkbook at seventy-five miles per hour during a snowstorm in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
16. Real Canadian male drivers can remove pantyhose and a bra at seventy-five miles per hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic during daylight hours (who would want to at night)?
17. Heavy snow, ice, fog, and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way of ensuring a natural selection, business for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.

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Published by owenisafag: 2:00 AM

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Lochness to blow Nessy out of the water. Sir Godfrey of the Nessy Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.

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Published by owenisafag: 2:00 AM

Thursday, November 25, 2004

40 Things Never Said By Saskatchewaners!


40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.

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Published by owenisafag: 2:00 AM

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

If any one knows how to put pictures up on your jounal or to make your wrting bigger maybe i am just handycapped but i so cant figure it out!

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Published by owenisafag: 2:00 AM

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Ingredients:

Pastry:

2-1/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (scooped into the cups and leveled)
3/4 teaspoon salt
10 tablespoons (1-1/4 sticks) chilled unsalted butter, cut into tablespoon-sized pieces
1/2 cup chilled vegetable shortening
2 teaspoons cider vinegar

Filling:

3/4 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
2 to 3 tablespoons tapioca flour or cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 pounds apples (about 7 large), quartered, cored, peeled, and sliced into 1/4-inch-thick wedges
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon Fiori di Sicilia, optional
2 tablespoons chilled unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
1 tablespoon sugar

Instructions: combine the flour and salt in a mixing bowl. Use a pastry blender to cut the butter into the flour until the pieces are pea-sized.Roll out the larger disk of pastry on a lightly floured surface into a 13-inch circle. Fold the dough into quarters. Center the point of the dough in the center of a 9 -inch pie plate, then unfold the dough. Lift the overhanging edge of pastry all around the pie plate so that the pastry lines the pan loosely but snugly; do not stretch the dough.Place the pie on the baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes. Transfer the pie on the baking sheet to the center shelf, reduce the temperature to 350°F (175°C), and continue baking for about 1 hour longer,

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Published by owenisafag: 2:00 AM

Thursday, November 04, 2004

PLACE YOUR ORDER HERE
Mestiqu BBQ
Sweet Chilli Sauce
Zesty Thia
Spontaneous Combustion
Maple Syrup
Lemon Pepper & Hot
Pizza
Mango Habanero
Jerk Spice
Sweet n' Sour
Citrus Ginger
Red Hot
Black Bean & Ginger
Jack Daniels Glazed
Honey Dill
Salt & Pepper
Brown Sugar & Honey
Tex Mex
Maxi Casa
Bullard's
Teriyaki
Cajun BBQ
Sudden Death
Spiced Curry
Honey Garlic
Old West Hickory
Honey Smoked
Honey Mustard
Hot Teriyaki
Bushmills Whiskey
BBQ Garlic & Onion
Parmesan & Herb
All wings come ni Multiples of 10

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Published by owenisafag: 2:00 AM

Monday, November 01, 2004

Recipy for love
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup shortening
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
3/4 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups rolled oats
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C).
In a large bowl cream shortening, brown sugar and granulated sugar. Add eggs and mix thoroughly.
Combine the baking soda, salt and flour and stir into creamed mixture
Add oatmeal and chocolate chips and stir until well blended.
Drop by teaspoonfuls onto greased cookie sheet. Bake for 15 minutes.

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Published by owenisafag: 2:00 AM

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Have you ever though Fat people are FATfor a reason? I mean there like telling you there FATwhile eating a big mac and drinking and extral large pop! Your gonna tell me they have no reason to be FAT?

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Published by owenisafag: 2:00 AM

Thursday, October 21, 2004

IF YOU ARE 15 you dont know sh*t about skateboarding and you shouldnt try to hate on people that are good cause if you ever saw Jay and Silent Bob strike back who ever you are hateing on just might come to your house and kick the living sh*t outta you... you little punk ass bitches

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Published by owenisafag: 2:00 AM

Friday, October 01, 2004

OKay people should so not drive slow in the fast lane i hate that

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Published by owenisafag: 2:00 AM