Poems

As I stare into the stars of darkness , I am me again. I feel those special feelings and smile with a laugh. I wish upon my lucky stars and know another soul is thinking of me also. He is amazing in every way, and we could be miles apart but always find our way back to each others arms. I love to hear the heartful words you whisper upon the tips of your lips. You make me feel the greatest feelings. I feel it in your every "I love you", I feel it in your every word. I feel it in your hugs, kisses, and even your goodbyes. I think this good only be in fairytales and I pray this will last a lifetime. Lost, but found. I love you and thank you of my every breath.  Before my heart was broken but now it is complete, I am me again.

There's so much I can't say
when I look into your eyes.
Maybe you'll reject me
and shatter all my pride.
Each day my love grows stronger
but I wont let you know.
There's way to much behind my smile
that I can never show.
I'd hold you for a lifetime
if you would take my hand.
I'd love you like no other
but you don't understand.
Everytime I see you
your holding onto her.
The pain cuts like a dagger
making wounds that never cure.
So I'll dream of us together-
of how good it could be.
And I will keep this secret love
you could have had with me.

I didn't want to face the fact,
it was easier to lie,
and hide the hurt and emptiness,
and smile instead of cry.
I didn't want to face the fact,
my life is full of pain,
I long to stop my bleeding heart,
and maybe smile again.
Because I feel forgotten,
so betrayed and so alone,
without a trace of forgiveness,
and no soul to call my own.
I didn't want to admit the fact,
I cannot spread my wings,
and my happiness has melted
into tears and other things.
Its hard for me to hide the fact,
my wishes have no home,
and return to anguish,
and bow my head alone.

What does it feel like to be in love?
Does it soothe-
like a soft mist dusting your neck,
cooling your shoulders
relaxing your tensions?
Does it seize-
Like an unrelenting grasp over your being
your smiles and your tears,
your common sense and your emotions?
Does it excite-
starting at your toes & rising to your chest,
then your throat where it holds its breath,
until it can't help but scream?
Does it confuse-
Am I supposed to feel this way?Does he feel this way?
What is it in those eyes that make me so flustered?
You tell me.
Does every smile, every glance, every chance meeting
feel like a promise to love you back?
Not that that's what you really think,
but it's what you need to think tokeep the hope of a fairy tale romace from fading?
Does every conversation
linger for days?
Every frame
clear but unreal
in every daydreamy rerun?
You tell me.
Does he consume your mind
day to long awaited day
until everything has lost it's original luster
when he isn't around to charm the scene?
Does every playful poke
make you float above cloud nine
like your rising but staying still?
Does every friendly hug
force the corners of your mouth into a stupid grin?
Why do my knees become uselessly weak
with every meaningless touch-
or even when he walks within twenty feet
of my "personal space"?
You tell me.
Does it always feel like more than a crush
or silly infatuation
when he talks to you
just like you imagine a soulmate would
and laughs at your jokes?
If it feels like love isn't it love?
You tell me.
Because what do I know?
I'm only a kid right?
Heck I've only been in love once or twice.

The letter I'll never
would camly ask you why
you broke my heart in two
and told my love goodbye.
If I ever sent this letter
it would sweetly state
you tangled up your destiny
and interrupted fate.
The letter I will not write
would casually inquire
how can you live without me-
I was your one desire.
If you received this letter
it would politely say
you need me in your life now
you can't go on this way.
The letter I'll never send
would then be briskly signed
"Your one and only love"
you know, the one you left behind.

I've never felt this way,
It's the thought of you that makes me smile everyday.
I want to beilive I love you,
and I really want to try.
But I dont want to get hurt,
and I dont want to cry.
If we can make this last,
I'll try to erase my past.
Tell me you mean it,
from the bottom of your heart.
That way my love for you will never part.
Because I want to beilive I love you,
And I really want to try.
But I dont want to get hurt,
And I dont want to cry.

I have this wall you cannot see

because it's deep inside of me.

It blocks my heart on every side

and helps emotions there to hide.

You can't reach in

I can't reach out,

you wonder what it's all about.

The wall I built that yot can't see,

results of insecurity.

Each time my tender heart was hurt,

the scars within grew worse and worse.

So stone by stone,

I built a wall

that's now so thick it will not fall.

Please understand that it's not you

continue trying to break through.

I want so much to show myself

and love from you will really help.

So bit by bit,

chip at my wall,

til stone by stone it starts to fall.

I know the process witll be slow-

it's never easy to let go

of hurts and failures long ingrained

upon one's heart from years of pain.

I'm so afraid

to let you in;

I know I might get hurt again.

I try so hard to braek the wall,

but seem to get nowhere at all.

For stone upon each stone I've stacked,

and left between them not a crack.

The only way

to make them fall is imperfections in the wall.

I did my best to build the perfect wall

but there are still a few small flaws, which are the key

to breaking through the wall to me.

Please use each flaw, to cause a crack

to knock a stone off the stack.

For just as stone by stone was laid,with every hurt and every pain,

so stone by stone the wall will break, as love replaces every ache.

Please be the one who cares enough,

to find the flaws no matter what.