You're kind of a pussy.

 

 

and it's kind of pathetic amusing. :]

Gonna take off all my skin,
Tear apart all of my insides,
When they rifle in,
Mom and Dad think you'll be saved,
They never had the time,
They're gonna medicate your lives,
You were always born a crime,
We salute you in your grave.

Can't find my way home,
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get back in her arms,
Can't find my way home,
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get back in her arms.

Well my gun fires
seven different shades of shi*t,
So what's your favorite color, punk?

Do you wanna hold my hand?
Could you sign this photograph,
'Cause I'm your biggest fan,
Would you leave me lying here?

We're not here to pay a compliment,
Or sing about the government,
Oxycontin genocide,
Adolescent suicide,
I'll give you my sincerity,
Don't give a f*ck about a Kennedy,
Here's what I've got to say.

Can't find my way home,
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get back in her arms,
Can't find my way home,
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get back in her arms.

No way home why
We've got to go 

Can't find my way home,
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get back in her arms,
Can't find my way home,
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get back, well, in her arms.

I can't find the way
Come on angel, don't you cry

[My Way Home Is Through You -  My Chemical Romance] 

I'm not a good person.

Get that image out of your head.

You need explainations for my actions?

Well, good, so do I.

Try to do what's right.

Hate me.

I'm begging you.

It would make everything easier.

But, maybe not for you.

I'm selfish. You just can't see it yet.

I'm sorry you had to meet me.

I don't want to hurt you.

But I'll hurt you anyways.

 

So take heart, sweetheart, or I'll take it from you.

 

I'm heaven sent.
Don't you dare forget.
I am all you've ever wanted.
What all the other boys all promised.
Sorry I told.
I just needed you to know.
I think in decimals and dollars.
I am the cause to all your problems.
Shelter from cold.
We are never alone.
Coordinate brain and mouth.
Then ask me what it's like to have myself so figured out.
I wish I knew.

I hope this song starts a craze.
The kind of song that ignites the airwaves.
The kind of song that makes people glad to be where they are
With whoever they're there with.
This is war.
Every line is about who I don't wanna write about anymore.
Hope you come down with something they can't diagnose,
Don't have the cure for.
Holding on to your grudge.
Oh, it's so hard to have someone to love.
And keeping quiet is hard.
`Cause you can't keep a secret if it never was a secret to start.
At least pretend you didn't wanna get caught.

We're concentrating on falling apart.
We were contenders, now throwing the fight.
I just wanna believe

...in us.

Oh, we're so controversial.
We are entirely smooth.
We admit to the truth.
We are the best at what we do.
And these are the words you wish you wrote down.
This is the way you wish your voice sounds,
Handsome and smart.
Oh, my tongue's the only muscle on my body that works harder than my heart.
And it's all from watching TV.
And from speedin' up my breathing.
Wouldn't stop if I could.
Oh, it hurts to be this good.
You're holding on to your grudge.
Oh, it hurts to always have to be
Honest with the one that you love.
Oh, so let it go.

We're concentrating on falling apart.
We were contenders, now throwing the fights.
I just wanna believe.
We're concentrating on falling apart.
We were contenders, now throwing the fight.
I just wanna believe
...in us.

This is intolerable.

This is the greatest only we can bestow.
This is the price you pay for loss of control.
This is the break in the bend.
This is the closest of calls.
This is the reason you're alone.
This is the rise and the fall.

We're concentrating on falling apart.
We were contenders, now throwing the fight.
I just wanna believe.

We're concentrating on falling apart.
We were contenders, now throwing the fight.
I just wanna believe

...in us
[Okay, I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't - Brand New]

I don't know what to do.

Things are getting confusing.

 

I'm selfish.

Hate me for it.

It just makes things easier.

 

Well when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

When after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you like I did yesterday"?

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you down and out
It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you like I did yesterday"?

Well come one, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you like I loved you yesterday"?

I don't love you like I loved you yesterday

I don't love you like I loved you yesterday
[I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance]

Your ignorance will be your downfall.

You don't know everything.

I'm begging you... don't act like you do.

 

 

Is the can half diseased or is the disease half canned?
And is the man half machine or is machine half man?
I'm unretrofied for you.
Is the can half diseased or is the disease half canned?
Or is the man half machine or the machine half man?
I'm unretrofied for you, so come on, so come on.

I'll just fake it in the end,
Just save it for a new song and leave dead in the end.
Time is wasted in the end,
Wood paneled wagon carpool dragons killing me again.

Now they're looting our holes until there is nothing left,
Calloused intentions it seems cowards invention at best,
I'm unretrofied for you.
Now they're looting our holes until there is nothing left,
Calloused intentions it seems cowards invention at best,
I'm unretrofied for you, so come on, so come on.

I'll just fake it in the end,
Just save it for a new song and leave dead in the end.
Time is wasted in the end,
Wood paneled wagon carpool dragons killing me again - we're all dead.

Jesus can't play the music 'cause he's nailed to the cross,
And over gnawed off feet I find that I can't walk,
I can't walk,
I can't even walk.

I'll just fake it in the end,
Just save it for a new song and leave dead in the end.
Time is wasted in the end,
Wood paneled wagon carpool dragons killing me again.

I'll just fake it in the end,
Just save it for a new song and leave dead in the end.
Time is wasted in the end,
Wood paneled wagon carpool dragons killing me again - we're all dead.
[Unretrofied - The Dillinger Escape Plan]

Optimism isn't really my strong suit.

So, why do I feel so suddenly...

Okay.

Maybe not about my current situation.

But about what's going to happen in the future.

Maybe it's just my mood right now.

I don't know.

I guess I'm just...content.

Content with the people I surround myself with.

They're the reason I haven't gone crazy.

I love you all. :]

 

Hey, girl, you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.

Cover up with makeup in the mirror
tell yourself, it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever, you will surely drown
I see what's going down.

I see the way you go and say you're right again,
say you're right again
heed my lecture

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

Face down in the dirt, she said,
"This doesn't hurt", she said,
"I finally had enough."

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
it's coming round again.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

Face down in the dirt, she said,
"This doesn't hurt", she said,
"I finally had enough."
[Face Down - the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus]

Being sick was what I needed.

As strange as it sounds.

I just needed some time off.

Hopefully one day is all I need, though.

:]

 

Anyways.

I'm noticing mixed signals from certain people.

Don't say you want to be my friend...

Then spread some bullshi*t lie about me.

You think I won't find out?

Guess what...

So, don't think I'll take anyone's shi*t lying down.

'Cause I won't.

Don't think I need anyone.

I have everyone I 'need' already.

That doesn't necessarily mean you.

 

Your skin attached this fragile cliche
Of my broken heart attack
You should swallow your teeth and hang out
Stay for a while
If your heart's still beating it must be the blood
If your lungs are still working it must be the mud
If its still light out than a kick in the ribs
today's worth living

I don't see anything now
So just say what you wanna say
It's kind of funny how I'm not listening anyway

Lights out, I can't stand to hear you scream
While we were making love I was fast asleep
and the night sky better give something up (give something up)

I don't see anything now
So just say what you wanna say
It's kind of funny how I'm not listening anyways

Lights out, lights out, lights out, lights out...
Lights out! I can't stand to hear you scream
While we were making love I was fast asleep
If your heart's still beating it must be the blood
If your lungs are still working it must be the mud
If its still light out than a kick in the ribs
And today's worth living, it probably is

I don't see anything now
So just say what you wanna say
It's kind of funny how I'm not listening anyway

I'm not listening anyway
I'm not listening anyway
I'm not listening

Listening, I'm not listening
I'm not listening
I'm not listening
I'm not listening
[Listening - the Used]

I don't understand why I've been in such a bad mood lately.

I've just been snapping on everyone, except Danielle and/or Kelly.

I'm just fed up with the way life is, I suppose.

So overrated and dramatic.

Maybe it's due to all of the fights I keep having with my family.

Who knows.

But, I'm sorry if I've been a bitch lately.

=\

I'm trying to get in highter spirits.

Just give it time.

It's nothing personal.

 

[Lunacy Fringe - the Used]

Hello, boys and girls.

It's story time.

For the record;

Everyone has "problems."

I do. You do. Your neighbor does. Your mother does. Everyone.

So, I do not understand why people insist on throwing their problems in people's faces.

You are not the ONLY person to ever be in the least bit "depressed."

Or have problems at home.

Believe me.

I guarantee at least ONE person has had a similar problem.

See, usually, when someone has a problem, they keep it to themselves.

Try not to cause a scene.

But, there's always that occasional person that feels the need to be like 'OH PITY ME!'

That's the difference between having a real problem;

and inventing one to get attention.

I mean, it's always nice to get attention.

But does anyone really think that someone acting like they have a million things wrong with them makes them any more likable?

'Cause it doesn't.

But I digress.

I'm not pointing fingers at anyone.

It's just a general observation.

That I decided I've become far too annoyed with.

That's all for today.

 

[Martyr - Depeche Mode]

This is just getting amusing.

Doesn't anyone think I have bigger issues to think about?

Because, I do.

If you don't, that's not my problem.

 

I pretty much don't give a shi*t about anyone anymore, except a few select people.

You're probably not one of them.

Tough break. :]

Like everything is beginning to slide back into place.

Return to the norm.

Which is good.

I still can't help feeling...out of place in my own life.

Especially at home.

It seems like I can't have a conversation with anyone in my house that doesn't end up in a fight.

I know I shouldn't get so upset about it.

I should be used to it.

It still gets me down.

Your family is supposed to be there for you.

When it seems like they're the cause of all my problems.

Everything that's not school related, that is.

I've got so much stress from just my home life that it's stressing me out about everything else.

I've got to find a way to cope.

Or I'll just end up killing someone.

 

Hopefully it's not the latter.

 

I'm not going down on my knees
Begging you to adore me
Can't you see it's misery
And torture for me
When I'm misunderstood
Try as hard as you can
I've tried as hard as I could
To make you see
How important it is for me

Here is a plea
From my heart to you
Nobody knows me
As well as you do
You know how hard it is for me
To shake the disease
That takes hold of my tongue
In situations like these

Understand me

Some people have to be
Permanently together
Lovers devoted
To each other forever
Now I've got things to do
And I've said before
That I know you have too
When I'm not there
In spirit I'll be there

It feels like everything is going so fast.

And yet, everything is at a stand still.

Things keep changing, but everything's the same.

I feel trapped in this place, with no where to go.

Like everyone is moving on, but I'm stuck.

The more I crave to get out of here, the slower everything moves.

The slower the changes.

School drags by like a death sentence, only to be renewed the next day.

My home life is like living on death row.

Like I'm stuck in reverse with no where to go but down.

Down the drain of monotony and sameness.

I don't know what to do.

I know people have it worse.

But I can't help but think about myself.

Like some selfish little girl throwing a tantrum.

But never getting my way.

It's like I've hit a brick wall, and my grasp on reality is slipping away.

I find myself sitting awake, wondering what it is I have to look forward to.

I rarely come up with something.

It feel like my life has become a bad dream.

A never ending nightmare.

And I don't want to ask for help.

But I don't know what to do.

I don't know how to get back on the reality wagon.

I've hopped off too soon.

And I'm afraid I can't get back on.

 

Hear the sound
The angels come screaming
Down, your voice
I hear you've been bleeding
Make your choice
They say you've been pleading
Someone save us

Heaven help us now
Come crashing down
We'll hear the sound
As you're falling down meds

I'm at this old hotel
But can't tell if I've been breathing or sleeping
Or screaming or waiting for the man to call
And maybe all of the above
Cause mostly I've been sprawled on these cathedral steps
While spitting out the blood and screaming
Someone save us

Heaven help us now
Come crashing down
We'll hear the sound
As you're falling down

And will you pray for me?
Or make me say don't leave?
And will you lay for me?
Or make a saint of me?

Cause I'll give you all the nails you need
Cover me in gasoline
Wipe away those tears of blood again
And the punchline to the joke is asking
Someone save us

Heaven help us now
Come crashing down
We'll hear the sound
As you fall

And would you pray for me?
[You don't know a thing about my sins]
[How the misery begins]
Or make us say don't leave?
[You don't know]
[So I'm burning, I'm burning]
And will you lay for me?
[You don't know a thing about my sins]
[How the misery begins]
Or make a saint of me?
[You don't know]
[Cause I'm burning, I'm burning]

Cause I'll give you all the nails you need
[I'm burning, I'm burning again]
Cover me in gasoline again

I've been feeling pretty shi*tty lately.

For no particular reason.

Sort of ever since...friday.

Maybe saturday.

But who's keeping track?

I guess I've been feeling alone.

It has come to my attention I'm the only person that I know that doesn't have a boyfriend (or girlfriend in the case of a boy).

How typical.

"You just have to wait"

I'm sick of waiting.

I'm sick of everyone saying how I'll have someone great...

If I wait.

What if I don't want to?

I guess it really doesn't matter if I want to or not.

Considering you can't have a boyfriend if a boy never looks your way.

Which bothers me.

Because everyone I know always claims I'm "pretty" or whatever.

And yet...no boy.

So there's got to be something wrong with one of them.

Either the people saying that I have some form of attractive-ness.

Or the boys that don't consider me part of the female species.

f*ck.

 

Life has returned to its usual monotony.

Now that the excitement of what happened last thursday has died down.

I'm actually pretty okay with not having much excitement.

There's no pressure.

I got my hair cut yesterday (wednesday).

I think it's alright.

Other people say it's cute.

Eh.

 

Anyways.

I'm content with life right now.

Please don't change that. :]

 

<333 forr you all. :]

 

 

If I'm such a horrible person that doesn't understand things that I've had to deal with for about 2 years, then just stop bothering yourself with me.

I've lost friends before.

And look, I've survived.

I do not care about your opinion about me.

I am who I am, I don't change for anybody.

So, go ahead, think what you will about me.

I'm through with all of it.

If you don't want to talk to me, fine.

I honestly couldn't care less about anything anymore.

But don't go around thinking you know everything about me.

'Cause, honestly, only a few people really do.

I don't "open up" because shi*t like this always happens.

And I'm over it.

Oh please, please, fuel my fire.

So, I find it kind of strange that all you people ever talk about is how immature the other person is being.

I mean, to be mature, you don't talk about someone.

You don't state how mature you are.

You get over things.

I don't really see any of that going on with anyone.

So please, think before you speak and act.

Your actions and words have repercussions that don't only affect you and the person you say it to/about, but it affects everyone else, too.

So, act your age.

Act 'mature' since that's the new thing to be, apparently.

 

This isn't directed at any one person.

It's directed at everyone.

And anyone.

 

Mmkaythankyou.

So I have been thinking a lot lately about how things seem to change in life so rapidly.

And yet, to me, it seems like nothing changes.

Everything always feels the same to the point where I'm just numb about anything in my life.

I've seen it all before.

Sometimes, I just want to get away from all the drama and excitement of High School and be able to be alone with my thoughts for a while.

Go somewhere peaceful where no one would be able to disturb me.

Why is it that life goes so fast, but nothing ever happens to cause a change?

Small things change, however.

Things that don't affect your life as much.

But, after a while, those things get old, too.

What is someone supposed to do to keep his/her life exciting?

I need a break from this life, this agony of monotony.

It's like a throbbing that never goes away.

 

 

 

Perhaps there really is no such thing as "love."

Because our own selfish devotions come before all others.

But, says those who are in love 'you couldn't possibly understand unless you've experienced it.'

That may be so.

But I can hardly imagine the human race thinking of others before his- or herself.

There is no such exception to the rule.

You cannot control how you feel.

Sadness.

So why is it that we all put ourselves through such abuse to feel a few moments of pure ecstacy, this thing called love, only to fall again and hit rock bottom?

 

 

 

You crack me up.

 

 

 

dramamonster? _{She's dead, I think.}

 

Okay.

I am so sick and f*cking tired of all of this.

You guys don't like each other.

Okay.

So what?

Why does that give anyone the permission to be so f*cking rude to one another.

Kelsey liked a guy.

Big f*cking deal.

Girls like guys.

It's what we do.

You guys are blowing this WAYY out of proportion.

Do you REALIZE how stupid any of this is?

Or are you all  so blinded by your 'anger and hate'?

I'm sick of it.

It's STUPID.

Grow up, all of you.

Maybe you think this is some sort of huge deal to agonize over for weeks at a time...but it's not.

Kelsey was over it.

She'd moved on.

You all just have to f*cking bring it up over and over again.

If you hate each other so very much, why is it that you're constantly talking about one another.

You may think that you've won; but, Kelsey and I don't talk about you guys anymore.

And yet.

You guys are STILL calling Kelsey a whore and a bitch and a liar.

So now who's the 'stupid' one?

 

 

That's all I have to say.

This is f*cking ridiculous.

I sat outside my front window...this story's going somewhere:
"He's well hung," and I am hanging up.
Well there's a song on the radio that says:
"Let's get this party started."
So let's get this party started.

What you do on your own time's just fine.
My imagination's much worse, I just never want to know.
What meant the world had folded
like legs and fingers holding onto what escapes me;
what he has: a better kiss that never lasts.

You said, between your smiles and regrets: "Don't say it's over."
Dead and gone, dead and gone, yeah

Calm before the storm set it off, and the sun burnt out tonight.
A reception less than warm set it off, and the sun burnt out to...

This is me standing in the arch of the door
hating that look that's on your face
that says there's another fool like me.
There's one born every minute, there's one born every minute.

What you do on your own time's just fine.
My imagination's much worse, I just never want to know.
What meant the world imploded, inflated then demoted all my oxygen
to product gas and suffocated my last chance.

You said, between your smiles and regrets: "Don't say it's over."
Dead and gone, dead and gone, yeah, woah

Calm before the storm set it off, and the sun burnt out tonight.
A reception less than warm set it off, and the sun burnt out tonight.

Calm before the storm, set it off, set it off, woah

Calm before the storm set it off, and the sun burnt out tonight.
A reception less than warm set it off, and the sun burnt out tonight, yeah...
Woah...yeah...
Sun burnt out tonight
Woah...
The sun burnt out tonight

Come on over, let me watch you,
Let me hold you, let me touch you.

Right or wrong, I should've stayed up 'til the break of dawn.
Ever since our eyes did meet,
I long to see.
Your eyes suprised me like a moon on a cowboy movie screen.
I never found out what it means.

I must be out of my head,
It must be something i said.
So come on, I'll waste my life.
You think I'm out of my head,
But I'm romantically dead.
So come on, I'll waste my life on you.

Come on over, let me watch you,
Let me hold you, let me touch you.

I'm right, you're wrong,
You should have come to me before too long.
You'll never leave my sight again,
To keep you then.
Your eyes deny me like the sun on a night sky movie scene,
And I just don't care what it means.

I must be out of my head,
It must be something I said.
So come on, I'll waste my life.
You think I'm out of my head,
But I'm romantically dead.
So come on, I'll waste my life on you.

And I hate to be the one,
The one to drop the bomb.
You wouldn't wait around,
But I'll be watchin' you.
You, yeah you.
You, yeah you.

I'll watch your every move,
You can't know we can't hurt you.
You got no choice I got you.

I must be out of my head,
It must be something I said.
So come on, I'll waste my life.
You think I'm out of my head,
But I'm romantically dead.
So come on, I'll waste my life.
I must be out of my head,
It must be something I said.
So come on, I'll waste my life on you.
You think I'm out of my head,
But I'm romantically dead.
So come on,
I'll waste my life, I'll waste my life, my life on you